Looking for Easter

Yes, I have a few "just for Grandma" photos of Easter. 

Church Easter egg hunt

How to eat a giant chocolate bunny

One ear at a time, with a dog looking on to catch the crumbs

The carnage

And yes, my kids are cute and smiling and the photos contain the prerequisite Easter items like eggs and candy.  But realistically, my Easter this year felt nothing like what I wanted it to. 

At our house, Easter has a tendancy to get swept under the rug.  It comes about 2/3 of the way through soccer season, after about 5-6 weeks of my husband working 60-70 hour weeks.  So honestly, we often are just overjoyed at a four day weekend with no soccer game.  And so we get pretty focused on "me" instead of on anything spiritual. 

Because of the chaos surrounding the time of year, we also often find ourselves with no Easter plans until a few days before when it becomes apparent that we should probably get with the show so our kids will at least know that jelly beans are a traditional Easter candy and that hunting for eggs in the grass on some sunny but cold morning is somehow important.   We often find ourselves scurrying to buy an Easter present (nothing big) for each kid.  We almost never know where we will be celebrating the holiday.  And I have yet to actually dye Easter eggs at home with any child.

This year was no exception.  D's brother decided to fly back to Nebraska from Boise which was great.  That meant we actually decided a few weeks ago (as opposed to on the Friday before Easter) where we would spend the holidays.  However, due to the way things worked out, we continued the "do very little at home" to actually celebrate Easter.  Saturday morning,we attended our church's egg hunt and I pulled out some lame words on how we are so happy that Jesus didn't stay dead that we feel like celebrating.  (apparently with eggs and candy.)  Because of the way our plans worked, there wasn't an opportunity to go to church for either Good Friday or Easter Sunday.  And we spent crazy amounts of time in the car over the weekend with two four year olds which has it's moments of sheer craziness.  We ate lunch with D's grandma and his brother.  His grandma's health is declining so we try to take advantage of the time we have when we can visit with her.  However, this means that for Easter Sunday lunch we found ourselves at the Hyvee deli buying chicken and side dishes.  (Not exactly a traditional plan.)    We spent some time with Marie and then went to D's dad and step mom's for supper.  Non traditional meal (hotdogs and hamburgers) but more traditional activies of games and egg hunts.  Regardless, I'm glad we got to be all together with D's brother.

I've spent the weekend feeling rushed and unprepared for the actual meaning of Easter.  I've seen other people's Facebook posts with words like "He is risen.  He is risen indeed" and wished I felt more Easterish.  I listened to the radio and heard the D.J. say how after Good Friday services she felt heavy and weighed down and was so ready for Sunday when she knew Jesus would rise again.  And I was jealous that I didn't share that experience.   I watched my kids be appreciative of the gifts and treats they received but then saddened that the whole Easter story somehow was a pretty small part of the activities for them.  I guess in some ways it just feels like I am still looking for Easter.