On My Bookshelf

The absolute only good thing about Kai's recent refusal to go to sleep on his own for naps and bedtime (and to take 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep) is that this carves reading time into my daily schedule.  I've been reading about a book a week for a while now which is pretty darn good when you consider my current distractions.

Here's the latest four.

I cannot say enough good things about this book.  Stevenson is a lawyer who has spent the last 20 years working exclusively with prisoners on death row.  His stories of specific cases are thought provoking and provide real insight into the humanity of the people who are on death row.  I especially loved how he encourages us to ask the question if these people are really throw away people or not.  For us in Nebraska, this read is a timely one given that we have recently banned the death penalty.

Another WWII story but not just another WWII story.  Unusual setting and unusual main character .  Not my favorite Holocaust book but still interesting and engaging.

I really enjoy Dallas' storytelling.  That's really her style: storytelling.  Her latest book features a midwife accused of murdering an infant.  It wasn't my favorite book of hers but still enough intrigue and interest in the characters to pull you in.

Think National Treasure meets The West Wing.  I haven't read anything by Meltzer before.  This took a bit to get going but once it did, it was kind of a wild ride.  More of a thriller than I usually read.

The big kids and I have been continuing to read a chapter book together at night.  The most recent three were

For those who know me, it's no secret that I adore Harry Potter.  I've been debating about reading this because I wasn't sure if my anxiety kiddo could handle it.  I talked myself into after reviewing it and thinking that the book really only had scary parts at the end, where Harry and friends really learn that Voldemart, the evil guy, is back.  However, just the knowledge that Voldemart was really too much for my one kiddo.  We ended up not reading the last 3 chapters together because of that.  All three loved the magic though.  Nothing sweeter than coming out in the morning and see your kids with blankets over their shoulders, arguing over who gets the broom, and trying to play Quidditch.

This isn't the exact one we read but we just picked an abridged version from the library.  No real reason other than the big kids were getting theater tickets to The Wizard of Oz for Christmas so I wanted to make sure they knew the story.   They especially liked the twist of the story which was that we don't need someone to make us a certain way, that often we already have inside of us the things we need.

We actually have on chapter left of this.  I loved hearing Zeke beg me to take it with us to Grandma's for Christmas so we could finish the book.  If you have never read Homer Price, it's kind of a hidden gem.  Homespun adventures mixed with some witty humor like a pet skunk who helps corner some crooks and a giant ball of string contest that involves a clever woman.

Common Ground

White privilege has gotten a lot of press lately and in the Midwest, it is an idea that often is quickly dismissed.  I can think of a variety of reasons why this happens from it coming across as an anti-white idea, to people not personally feeling privileged, to the highly esteemed Midwestern value of hard work as the antidote to most anything.   It also seems like the idea of white privilege gets lost in translation because of its fluidity and subjectiveness.  What one person sees as privilege, another sees a perfectly logical explanation for.

But what if there was some common ground, some areas where it wasn't quite so slippery and twisty?  What if we as white Midwesterners, were able to view some bits of life through the lens of someone else, to consider how those events look through the eyes of someone who has a different story than ours?  What if once we looked at those things, what if we were brave enough to admit that sometimes life isn't fair or equal and that we can see how this applies to others, not just those who look or act or talk like us?

Take for example,the classroom project of tracing one's genealogy.  It's not uncommon for children to be asked to bring examples of their family trees to school or to research what countries their ancestors came from.  That sounds simple enough, but sometimes it's not. (See Vox.com )  Most white Americans would never have considered this assignment to be about slavery because for them, the topic of slavery has no real role in this assignment.  But consider the majority of black Americans; for them, this assignment will most definitely require a student to reflect upon slavery.  Is being able to trace our lineage white privilege?  Is it a thing of privilege to know that such an assignment will not bring up issues connected to a painful issue like slavery?

Consider Columbus Day as another example.  While many in white America are well aware of  the injustices brought upon the native tribes of the New World via European explorers, most white Americans still approach the day from the traditional viewpoint of "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue."  That's also the basic premise taught to our kids, especially at the elementary level.  (I do realize that many curricular issues connected to history are meant to be taught in a spiral fashion with simplistic views of the topics presented initially, with more complex views and broader perspectives taught as children get older.)  However, being the parent of two kids who are from Hispanola, whose own personal histories are tightly tied to the history of that island, has caused me to be a bit more reflective.  So many of the subtleties of Columbus Day, from where he actually landed (did you know they are currently trying to raise a wreck off the coast of Haiti that they believe might be Columbus' flagship, the Santa Maria) to the effects his initial voyages had upon the history of the island are things that change how my kids will view the holiday.  Is our traditional understanding of history rooted in white privilege?

Looking for a bit more insight into this idea of , one that is not perhaps as politically charged as our country's most recent conversations on race?  Life is So Good is a quick and easy read that does just that.  Written by George Dawson and Richard Glaubman, it is the story of George's 103 years as a black man in America.  The subtitle says it all:  one man's extraordinary journey through the twentieth century and how he learned to read at 98.    The book was written fifteen or so years ago, with the sole purpose of telling George's story.  Glaubman is a white man, who used stories, newspaper articles, magazines, and news footage to help capture George's narrative.  Glaubman literally overlays the facts, as reported by the media, against George's own experiences.  What he found was that George's recollections of these events did not always line up perfectly with the news reports of the same events.  While I'm not sure that the intention of the book was broach the idea that history is colored by white privilege , the book does provide an interesting context in terms of thinking about how certain people groups view certain events and tasks.  George is one unique person with one unique viewpoint of history, nuanced by being black, living in the Jim Crow South, and being poor.  His life story is compelling; it's worth the read simply for that as well as for the commentary it offers on race.

Cowboys and Indians

Heading to the Black Hills via the Sandhills of Nebraska always seems to connect me to the pioneers who trekked west to bust the sod and build the towns.  The last quarter of the 19th century is one of my favorite time periods.  So much of who I am seems to be tied to the hardworking, adventurous-but-not-always-sure, make-your-own-way people who are a part of my family's history.  Thinking about those settlers somehow seems to anchor my heart in ways I don't quite understand.

I also can't help but travel those roads without thinking about the original inhabitants of those lands.  It's hard to forget them, especially if you happen to pass through a reservation, as thoughts connected to their loss of land and culture turn over and over, as you are very aware of the poverty, alcoholism, drug use, hopelessness, and unemployment that grips many who live there.

In the last few years, I've read some great books on the Plains Indians so I thought I'd share three of those reads.  They are thought provoking and insightful.  They paint Native Americans as multi faceted, real people.  They don't point to easy solutions or even point fingers in blame.  Here's my top three:

For a collection of thoughts and stories on modern issues connected to the South Dakota/Nebraska border, The Death of Raymond Yellow Thunder connects the events of the past to those in recent history.  The author uses the 1972 murder of a man from the Pine Ridge Reservation as a jumping off point for exploring how the Lakota Sioux came to be on the Pine Ridge and the interplay between the Sioux and their non Native neighbors.

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee is a modern classic, a book that represented a paradigm shift, where people began to understand that perspective colors history, where people began to see that the traditional, white viewpoint of history may be incomplete.  I read this either right after my senior year of high school or sometime during my college years and it was definitely had that impact on me.  The book provides much insight into the historical relationship between Native Americans and the American government.  It covers the last half of the nineteenth century and is a narrative of that time period, told by the chiefs, warriors, and women of the tribes, their viewpoints uninterrupted by the more traditional historical perspectives.

I am a Man:  Chief Standing Bear's Search for Justice is a book that I think should be required reading for every Nebraska high school student.  I was unaware of Standing Bear until I was in my 30's which is sad given the legal and social ramifications of Standing Bear's story.  Standing Bear was a Nebraska Ponca chief who sued the United States government when the government attempted to confine him to a reservation in Oklahoma.  His case was tried in Omaha and resulted in a landmark decision much like the Dread Scott case.  In this instance, the decision marked the first time where Native Americans were legally marked as people who had the same unalienable rights as Caucasians.

Jen Hatmaker's Seven

I've been reading Seven:  An Experminental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker for my quiet times.  Maybe not your normal quiet time reading but I have definitely enjoyed the book.  It's along the lines of Crazy Love and Radical (which I have not read but have a pretty good idea about) except it's more practical.  It is the author saying "I have been challenged to love in crazy ways, to live in radical ways and here's what I did."  She is not saying everyone should do the things she did.  She is not saying it makes her a better Christian because she did certain things.  She is just telling her story, what she did, how it made her feel, how it affected her relationship with God and others.

It is a very conversational, "here I am, take me or leave me" read.  (I have enjoyed her writing style; it's very light  and has an easy pace to it.  Plus her sense of humor pokes its way out every now and again.)

This book is also honest.   For seven months, the author "fasted" from one area of excess.  For one month, she tried to fast from her usual diet and tried to eat only seven foods.  For one month, she pared down her spending and committed to only spend money (large bills like mortgage and electric aside) at seven place.  For one month, she chose seven pieces of clothing from her overflowing closet and wore those items alone. She is willing to say "I broke my rules by buying my kids' new shoes."  Or "I hate spinach!" because she was eating it so often.

It has intrigued me.  And made me think in a lot of ways about what excess is in my life.  Which has been very hard as we are building a new house which seems like complete excess to me in a lot of ways.   This house building stuff?  Prior to building our house, I struggled with balancing my wants with what is good stewardship with how the rest of the world lives.  I was struggling with it before but building a house has really stretched me, hoping I had not let my own desire for something shiny and new override the guiding principles in my life regarding stewardship.   How do you know when you are justifying something?  Is it wrong to say "well, it's not like we're installing granite countertops and an in ground pool?  We're going with laminate and the blow up variety of water based fun."

Regardless of my own personal conflicts, here's a few things I thought I would share, inspired by Jen's seven months of considering how might God have her live.  I've got a handful of things so I'll break them up over this week.

Here's the first one:

Jen starts the book with Isaiah 58:3, "Why have I fasted and You have not seen it?" She uses this verse to frame her writing, to say this book is not my attempt to get God's attention by pointing out how pious I am.  I really liked this because "fasted" is easily interchangeable with "good deeds" or "suffered" or "loved".  We are like a horde of little kids, clamoring to have God notice what we've been up to so that we can get the attention we feel we deserve.  It quickly becomes about us and not about the needs of those whom we may serve.   This book, in Jen's words, is about simplifying for God's glory.  I love that idea:  simplifying for God's glory.  Not so others will see and think highly of me.  Not so God will see and think better of me.  For His glory.

What I've Been Reading

Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis-story of a girl who moved to Uganda at age 19 to work with the least of these and the unlikely path she took to motherhood, corresponds with her blog http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

The Dressmaker of Khair Khana:  Five Sisters, One Remarkable Family, and the Woman Who Risked Everything to Keep Them Safe by Gayle Tzemach Lemmon-great perspective on modern Afghanistan, a true story of women who banded together to run home based businesses after the Taliban took over

Seven:  An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker-still reading it, I really like her conversational format as well as the challenge to consider how our excess keeps us from fellowship with God, she used her experiment as a way to find out what would happen if she only ate 7 foods for a month, wore 7 piece of clothing for a month, etc.

What I've Been Reading

Just got two new books in the mail today.  New books on my counter are like a bell and Pavlov's dog.



At the suggestion of my friend, Rebekah, I'm checking out yet another parenting book.  Perhaps this one will have the magic pill that makes it all easy...  And because I've heard good things about this book and truly think I've been in need of refocusing on gratitude, the second one is on my list for my quiet times.  














I've also been following a long with the Hendricks' blog and the series they have posted on poverty.  This week, they are tackling the topic of how our shopping habits influence the lives of others around the world.  I appreciate that they don't necessarily have the answers.  Oversimplifying complex problems results in ideological thinking that doesn't allow for exceptions or flexibility.  And it often doesn't examine every angle.

Would I love to buy products that are made by people who are paid a fair wage and treated respectfully?  Of course.  But would eliminating sweatshop type labor mean that those workers who now make a meager wage would trade that meager sweatshop wage for no wage?

Love the thoughts expressed including "I would like to say this post will wrap up with something nice and tidy to say.  The truth is, nothing has felt nice and tidy in our souls ever again when it comes to the topic of buying products from the store.  For many months, as we continued to read about the conditions in which a lot of laborers work, and the way they are treated, we were kind of in a daze.  We knew there were lots of things we did not "need" to be buying. How do we wean ourselves off of this world, and our constant desire for more, more, more?  How do we shop in a way that considers and honors the people behind our products?  Where should we shop when we do actually need something?  How often do we choose "cheap" and "convenient" even when we are pretty sure our need for "cheap" and "convenient" means someone...somewhere suffers for our decisions we are making?  We did not know where to start, but we did know...we don't want to be involved with oppressing the laborer.  We want to use the money God has given us to give to the poor like God commands, not cheat them of their hard-earned wages (something that God gives stern warnings about in the Bible)."

I Need a List-How about one for my books?

I have to say that I have been waiting for "normal" life for the past oh, let's say four months.  Apparently, God had other plans.  Between soccer starting and soccer being in full swing and soccer ending and D's grandma getting sick and passing away, the last 3-4 months have been a dizzying mess.  I am craving a schedule but alas, summer is here so it will be a hodgepodge of one week of this schedule and one one of another.  All in all, I am currently feeling the compulsion to make lists.  Lots of them.  Because I'm pretty sure having lists indicates that I'm still in control of life.  (Yes, that's how I roll=tightly clenching the bits of control between my fingers.)

I could of course make some productive lists like what our weekly schedule is or a to do list but I'll save that for another time.  Instead, I'll share some of the things I've been reading or hope to read soon.


I found an old copy of this at our local thrift store and have been slowly eating away at it.  So very interesting.  Did you know that the all but one of the astronauts on the first Apollo mission were first borns?  Or that oftentimes car salesmen are last borns?  I'm not sure how concrete the science is but the antedotal evidence is just crazy.








This isn't actually the version I'm reading but close enough.  Again, something I've been gnawing away at.  The copy I have is an old copy that once again, came to me via the local thrift store.  I have never read Sherlock Holmes but have been meaning to so when I saw it at the store, it was 50 cents well spent.  I am a mystery fan as well as historical fiction.  And the Victorian period just fascinates me.  So I'm a happy camper with this find.  (And did you know that Sherlock Holmes loved herion?  Or maybe it was cocaine?  It's been a few weeks since I read it but I loved reading that little detail which is one of those things where the author had no idea of how that would appear in the context of the 21st century.)





Hate to say it but again a thrift store book.  (Different thrift store than the previous two though.)  Only picked it up because I know there's a bit of a hullaballoo surrounding Rob Bell's latest book on heaven.  Haven't actually read it but am interested to read his thoughts on how Christians might live in fresh, radical ways.










This was actually what I was supposed to have finished for my Facebook Bible study group.  However, life interupted and I am about 2/3 done.  It's been an okay book.  I love books that challenge you to live your life to it's fullest which i what this book's main objective is.  I think it's been more a subtle reminder than a bold slap in the face.  Perhaps this week I will get back into my quiet time routine.  The last 3 weeks have amounted to about zippo time spent alone with God in any really concentrated way.  Of course I've prayed and listened to Christian radio but I have not gotten around to any serious time with the Lord lately.

Choosing to See

Last week, when I took the kids to library storytime, I was not planning to get a book for myself.  I was still reading A Lantern in Her Hand and am constantly having to fight the temptation to have 2 or 3 books going at one time.  But then I spied Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by MaryBeth Chapman and there was no turning back.  (I read a good chunk of it during my break whil at a sub job the other day and ended up praying no one stuck their head in the room I was in as I was crying the entire time I was reading.)

MaryBeth is married to Christian musician Steven Curtis Chapman but perhaps what will be their legacy is not just his music but the loss of their daughter, Maria.  She was 5 and was accidentally hit by their son, Will, as he was pulling the car into the drive of their home.  To be honest, I have not been a Steven Curtis Chapman fan.  It wasn't that I didn't like his music, just that I never was all excited about it.  So at the time of Maria's accident a few years ago, I was sad that it had happened especially because Maria was adopted from China and it seemed so tragic to bring a child home from a foreign country and then lose that child in an accident.  But that was about the extent of it.

Then I saw the Chapman family being interviewed on Larry King.  I don't know if any of you saw that interview but it was riveting.  It left Larry King who by a lot of accounts is a Jewish agnostic amazed at the God who lives inside of this family.  I walked away from this interview with a heart full of praise.  They were real.  They were authentic.  They were hurting.  But they were wise.  But most of all they were letting God talk through them.  If you haven't seen the interview, I've posted it below.  It's about 40 minutes but the story is simply inspiring.  And if that's not enough, I would challenge you to read MaryBeth's book.  It covers many of the things from the interview but has so much more and is full of encouragement for people who are going through real life events that make life look less than rosy.  Indeed, it is beauty from ashes.

Steven Curtis Chapman on Larry King @ Yahoo! Video

New Books for a New Year

I just added a few new books to my Amazon.com widget full of recommended titles.  Many of the new titles represent books that I have not yet read or am in the proces of reading.  I love finding books vicariously ie by having someone else tell me about it and I think books have the ability to connect people in powerful ways.  So enjoy my list of new reads...

I am currently reading this as part of my quiet time.  I'm not terribly far into it but I appreciate the author's perspective on our need to slow down and seek God.  I also appreciate one of the prayers offered early in the book.  "God, What am I missing?"  This simple prayer is amazingly complex.  It reflects a desire to see God in the big picture, for Him to reveal what His best plan is for your life especially when you feel like some of the big pieces in your life are not aligning in a way that makes sense.  And it reflects a desire to see God in the minutia of life, to slow down and catch the God in the everday moments we take for granted.






I am over half done with this read.  It's a title I found via a happened upon blog.  It's a book that I'm not sure I'm 100% in line with but one that I appreciate because it challenges my thinking.  And one that I appreciate because I think the church does not necessarily do a great job of preparing young women to be wives.  It covers a lot of basic concepts on compromise and submitting, on serving and compassion.









I just finished this novel and am so glad I didn't return it to the library as I was planning.  I've actually had it since before the holiday break but hadn't made time to read it.   When I checked it out, I only briefly perusued the dust jacket to see if it appealed to me.  (I had two kids with me...which should explain the words "briefly perusued.") I knew it was historical fiction but was pleasantly surprised to find that the book begins in the 1770's in Haiti, details the slave revolt which made Haiti the world's first black democracy, and ends in New Orleans.  It does have some adult content which is less than desirable.





This one is actually not on my bookshelf.  It's one I'd love to own and am hoping that I will sometime get the chance to read it.  The subtitle says it all:  A Call to Faithful Living in An Affluent Society. 











This is actually our small group's selection for the year.  We rarely make our small group because we lack a babysitter/atttending means being out until 9:30 or 10:00 on a weeknight.  But we've been in the same group for 7 years and consider them important in our lives.  So we do try to get there occasionally.  Since we're not at small group, I often read this on my own.  I have loved what I've read.  Randy Alcorn establishes a connection between relativism (the lack of a belief in abolute truths, specifically that good and evil exist) and the frustration we have with a God who allows horrific things to happen.  He also devotes time to the way our frustration with God often comes back to what we believe about God's character, namely the specific belief that God is good..

Good Read

I'm just about finished reading He Talk Like a White Boy by Joseph C. Phillips. It's a collection of essays on faith, family, politics and authenticity. Phillips is most known for playing Bill Cosby's son-in-law on The Cosby Show. He writes from the perspective of a conservative, well educated black man in America. He is witty, sometimes irreverant, yet thoughtful. The theme of race is loosely woven into the book as he has had to address the way his blackness is juxtaposed with his conservative beliefs, his middle class upbringing, and even his speech pattern. Race is also explicitly addressed in several of the essays. (And take that word "essay" with a grain of salt. The essays, while intellectually powerful, read more like short stories. It's not heavy reading that will leave you feeling like a dunce because you have to get your dictionary for every other word.)
I picked the book out initially because I thought it might help me have a better view the challenges my black children will have as they will be Haitian Americans who are viewed as black African Americans while being raised in a conservative Caucasian household. Not only have I gained insight into the issues my kids will probably be confronted with, I also found myself enjoying the challenges Phillips issues to not just black Americans but to all Americans. Good read that I had not heard about until just a few weeks ago.

Book Reccomendation

I just finished a book that I would recommend to transracial families (and pretty much anyone) so I thought I'd share. The title is "The Color of Water: A black man's tribute to his white mother" and it's written by James McBride. Long story short, a white Jewish woman marries a black man in 1945, is disowned by her family, has 8 children, husband dies, remarries another black man, has 4 more children, all while living in a New York project. Great story of rising above poverty and your past as well as some good racial insights from a man who felt like he was neither white nor black. All 12 children earned college degrees and the mother in the story ended up going to college at age 65 and getting a master's degree. The writer's style is filled with humor and even though his life story is far removed from mine, he captures the commonalities so many of us share. Like being tormented by older siblings or having an older cratchety relative who drives crazy and tells it like it is. Definitely worth checking out.

Mindless Eating

I just finished reading the book, Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink. My friend, Jeanette, read it awhile back and recommended it. She has lost a ton of weight and a lot of that is due to ideas from this book. I absolutely loved the book. It is written by a food researcher who has done a myriad number of studies on people and their food habits. The studies are so interesting but as he writes he has a very conversational style that mixes humor with the data. The geek in me was overjoyed.

However, the biggest thing for me was that he reveals a lot of truths about how we relate to food and overeating. By the end, he asks you to consider making 3 changes that will hopefully eliminate 100 calories from each day. Losing 100 calories from each day should, in theory, result in eliminating 30 pounds from your life over the course of a year. Now for the cool part. He doesn't tell you what changes to make. He asks you to examine your eating habits, especially in terms of the ideas he has researched. He then asks you to use those habits and select 3 things to change. Next step? Make a chart for each day of the week and those 3 things so that you can check off each day if you have done those 3 things. The 3 things can be worded positively or negatively and could be things like only eat dessert if I've excerised today, drink 1 full calorie soda each day instead of my usual 3, don't eat in the living room while watching tv, or use a dessert plate to put my meals on instead of a dinner plate.

My list is eat only 2 pre-portioned snacks a day, eat only 1/2 portions of dessert, and eat 20% more fruits and vegetables and 20% less starches and proteins. I picked the first one because I am a horrible snacker. I am especially tempted to snack when I am home all day. I could snack all day long. Seriously. I also know that if I pre portion a snack out I am more likely to feel full and not want more. I also have a major sweet tooth. Telling me not to eat dessert is not going to happen. I generally don't buy dessert or have them in my cupboard. But, since I like to cook, if I don't have dessert and am craving something, I'll just make cookies. The thought of cooking sweets but never tasting them, going to a pot luck and not sampling all the sweets or nixing ice cream forever makes me feel faint. But 1/2 portions I can do. The 20% more/less idea is straight from the book. My mom was a big stickler for 2 servings of fruits/vegetables when we were growing up and I usually follow that rule in our house. I always try not to serve two starches in one meal. (If we're having potatoes, no corn or bread as a side, etc..) I also try hard to cook in healthy ways. We use lean meats, cook in canola oil, use skim milk, etc.. So I really do think that most of our meals are fairly heathful. The author recommends dishing yourself out your normal portions of everything but then going back and taking off 20% of the proteins/starches and add on 20% more fruits or vegetables. I've been trying that for a few days but am really going to work on doing it at every meal.

Anyway, that's my plan. I have known for a while that I was just eating whatever I wanted but was too lazy to really do anything about it. I'm hoping that getting my mind headed in that direction will help me get my mind back in the "I need to exercise" mode too. (I always think that; it's the actual exercise that gets me.)

Preparing for toddler adoption-Books on general parenting

Along the way, I've read lots of things that I hoped would help me prepare my heart for adopting and being a family. Here's a few of the things I've read and a few comments about each one.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg
The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp
(I read all of these and appreciated their practical, common sense take on parenting. I have not been around babies/toddlers a lot and needed something that would show me the big picture of baby/toddler care. The baby whisperer books did this. The Karp book especially seemed to dovetail nicely with my parenting/teaching style. I believe discipline is about learning not about punishment. I am generally lighthearted, even when disciplining. I generally work with kids at their level. I think kids have to have the natural consquences of their behavior come to fruition but that adults may need to help this process along by making sure there are consequences for bad behavior. If you are a love and logic person, I thought this seemed to fit well with that.)

The Attachment Parenting Book by William Sears
(Not my favorite by any stretch. I know some people really like the Sears' family. For me, it was too child centered. I don't believe children are designed to be the top priority within a family. My personal conviction is God first, spouse, then kids. I'm not saying that he is saying kids come first but I just couldn't get past some of the suggestions he made which seemed to lean that way.)

John Rosemund's Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children by John Rosemund (I like John Rosemund and think his cut and dry thoughts are desperately needed by many parents. I don't think everything he says is appropriate for children who have experienced trauma or are struggling to attach. But I think the basic principles that he sets forth are important for all families. Misbehavior equals consequences. Children need only appropriate choices. Parents do not need to orchestrate all of their lives around their children and should schedule time from their children, should not feel like they have to entertain their children constantly, should be able to do certain activities without their children interupting, etc.. )

The Ministry of Motherhood and The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson (Both of these really helped me get my brain around what being a Godly mother looks like. Both of these helped me see how my parenting is about teaching my children not just what to believe about God but what to believe about the character of God.)

Books I am hoping to read:
Prayer Saturated Kids by Arlyn Lawrence and Cheryl Sacks
Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson
Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel