Thanksgiving Past and Present

Zeke, sporting his turkey hat from kindergarten

A throwback photo, when Zeke had no hat and instead posed with the two bigs in their hats from kindergarten.

Zeke was 2 and had been home just about a month.

Baskets in the Water

Zeke has no true fingers.  He has a thumb, a half a pointer, and a toe.  I know this.  Yet, I never see him as a special needs kid.  He's so fiercely independent, so tenacious, so quick to learn new things.  His hands are just a non-issue.

I also generally don't helicopter parent.  I'm not overly sentimental when it comes to my kids nor am I much of a worry wart.  I love watching parents of graduating seniors who are so confident in their child and who are so sure of their role in giving their child wings and launching them out into adulthood.  Those parents, who truly are excited to see who their children are about to become, are the ones who give me a glimpse of who I hope to be in the next ten-ish years.

So as Zeke starts kindergarten tomorrow, I found myself in an unusual place.  As I was talking with his homeroom teacher about his hands earlier this week, I found myself quite teary.  Not because he is starting kindergarten.  Instead, I found myself thinking about recess, when my non special needs guy heads out onto the playground with over a hundred other kindergarteners, when his non special needs hands will draw attention, where this mom is apparently a little worried for the needs of his heart.  

I've been on the playground in a smaller scale, where he interacts with other kids for the first time and generally, I don't think he's really been met with cruelness.  However, there are lots of questions and lots of comments and there is always the opportunity for someone to be just plain mean.  All of that makes him feel so different and no one wants to feel different.  As a teacher, I know his teachers will move heaven and earth to protect his heart just like they would for any kiddo.  But I also know that they are limited by their humanness, that they can't hear and see everything and that the playground is a hard space to monitor.  It's one of those moments where I wish I were there to fix it, to make whatever that may happen okay.

But I'm not there and even if I were, the reality is I do not possess a magic wand that sprinkles down fairy dust and transforms my children's negative experiences.  I cannot place my trust in my abilities as a mom or in the idea that my kids will have pain free, perfect childhoods.  Instead, I am going to have to trust that my sweet six year old is and has always been God's, that God created him, saw him in all moments of his life, and will continue to be present in his life, even on the kindergarten playground.  To borrow a bit from Ashlei Woods, it's a bit like Moses' mother putting her babe into the basket, casting him off into the water, believing that somehow her God would make a way.  

"There comes a time – many times, actually – in the lives of our children where we have to put the basket in the water.  We have to let go and trust the plan of the Father.  The world is a scary place – a place where we fear our children could drown.  But we must remember that we have to let go so that God can draw them from the waters for His great purpose.  He has called us to be their parents, but they were His first. "


So off Zeke goes, into the basket, out on the water.  The prayers have been said and God's already working on the details.  May the scary playground of tomorrow be the place of God's continual presence.

Birthday Boys

Kenson and Zeke celebrated birthdays within a pretty short time span.  We actually have three birthdays and an anniversary within two weeks at the end of July/beginning of August.  If you add in D's birthday and Kai's birthday, we have five birthdays and an anniversary all within a month of each other.  Let's just say there's a lot of cake in our house come August.

Zeke turned six.  I'm not quite sure why but it seems like in the last few months, he has gotten much more cuddly than ever.  He's never been a super cuddly guy.  Actually when he first came home, hie was pretty darn prickly.  But gradually he has let his guard down and it just seems like he's done a lot more melting into me and seeking out affection.  He's still a stinking smart little cookie who just absorbs everything.  He can read a bit on his own and I'm pretty sure that he knows all of his addition and subtraction facts.  He still loves sharks and ocean things but has also branched out into poisonous things like tarantulas, cobras, and scorpions.  

Here are his three wishes:

Soccer cards-kind of a weird one but Kenson has started collecting baseball cards so Zeke had to follow suit.

An ocean Lego cake-He put his scuba diver on it and was just happy as a clam.

Take a friend to a local indoor play space.
Kenson also picked this so I took my four kids and two extras all by myself.
The four big boys had a great time together.

Kenson is ten.  That seems nearly impossible.  He is fast turning into a pre-teen boy.  He giggles at all sorts of pre-teen boy things and is testing out his own unique sense of humor.  He loves anything sports related from basketball to soccer to football to baseball.  His spent most of his summer playing baseball in the yard with Zeke and the neighbor boy.

For his birthday, he shared one wish with Zeke, being able to take a friend to an indoor place space.  One of his other wishes was to be able to watch tv all day long.  (See!  I told you!  Pre teen boy!)  I had to attend a training for a job I will be starting so that meant D was home all day with the kids on Kenson's birthday.  Seems like a day of tv watching was a great way for Dad to entertain at least one of the kids.  For his last wish, he wanted Legos.  (That's also been a theme of the summer.  The kids have spent hours playing Legos.)  He wanted something related to a police set he already had so this new set is kind of a swamp chase set, with a hoverboat, a tree house hide out, and another police vehicle.

NubAbility Camp 2016

So there's this sports camp called NubAbility Camp in Illinois.  And we just took our 5 year old there.  Which sounds like a completely crazy thing.  That someone would drive 9 hours to take their 5 year old to a sports camp.  I promise you were are not crazy.

I actually had heard of the camp, tucked it away for future reference, and then thought twice after my friend, Sheri, who had attended multiple times said, "Nope.  Don't wait.  Go now."  

Here's the basic premise behind it:  what if limb difference kids could go to a camp, centered around sports, and be coached and mentored by limb difference coaches?  What if limb difference kids could see others with limb differences being successful?  What if limb difference kids could forge relationships with people who look like them, who have stories that mirror theirs?  And so, we went.

Zeke had a blast.  He was about ten paces ahead of us every single moment of every single day, racing to get to the next thing.  The second day, he ate half of his breakfast, looked up and said, "I ate half.  Can we go now?"  I think he just basked in seeing so many people who had limb differences.  (I think there were like 140 campers plus 60 coaches.  Not all the coaches had limb differences but I'd say at least 75% of them did.)  As a mom, my heart was blessed by the normalcy of it.  Any new situation means that Zeke is almost instantly greeted by the question, "What happened to your hands?"  Not this time.  Not once did someone ask him that.  Not once.

Thursday was a kick off day, with swimming, golf, archery, and fishing for those who wanted to do those things.  I swear Zeke could have fished all day.  He also won a fishing pole in the ice breaker game.  Best of all, Zeke jumped off the diving board during the swimming session, for the first time ever, and swam to the side of the pool all by himself.

Friday morning started with an opening ceremony featuring a parade of all the campers and coaches.  I loved seeing the campers and coaches grouped by location, to see the variety of regions, personalities, and limb differences represented.  Here's our video footage of it.  It's kind of long but I think it's worth watching.

For Friday and Saturday, the kids were asked to pick a focus sport, one that they would get to do repeatedly.  He picked wrestling.  They also had four open sports sessions, where they could sign up for another sport and learn more about it.  For his open sports sessions, he picked football, basketball, swimming, and soccer.  Zeke played all day long for two days straight.  I'd share the photo of him passed out at the hotel but he'd be quite grumpy at me for sharing a pic of his undies.

Some of the other highlights for me as a mom were hearing repeatedly that our kids were created perfectly.  Not because I don't believe that but because I think Zeke has his moments of doubt in regards to that.  I also really appreciated what one of the wrestling coaches said.  Harry is from England.  He shared a bit about how there isn't anything like this in England, that disabilities are viewed so differently there.   He shared how up until last year, his first year at camp, as a 20 something adult, he was unable to tie his shoe.  But another coach at camp helped him learn how, at camp.  Hearing him admit that as an adult, he was still learning was such a good thing.  He also shared how he had never in his life met another person who had a hand like his until this camp when he met two kids who matched his hand.  Again, I think that's a valuable thing to hear, that we all long to "fit in" to a group like that.

Enjoy the pics!

Before the opening ceremonies, sitting with the Nebraska delegation.
The boy in the yellow was actually a Montana kid and we're missing one kid but I thought this photo was perfect.
Three big boys messing around and Zeke messing with the flag.
It also really captures the way that the campers relate to each other.
So many do know each other from years of attending but others are meeting for the first time.
I loved seeing the big kids interact with the little ones.

Wrestling practice begins
The coach in the middle is actually a former camper who is now a high school wrestler.
I think that model of kids becoming coaches is amazing.

Wrestling with Ninja Warrior and WWE wrestler Zack Gowen

Mid day on Saturday was the shoe tying session
Every camper was to find a coach who looked most like them.
If they didn't know how to tie shoes, then they were to practice.
If they already knew how, then they were to be a coach.
Lower limb difference campers went to a session on prosthetics.
Zeke's working with Zach Hodskins, current Florida Gator basketball player.

Waiting in line for a soccer drill

Wish I had taped this so you could hear the noise.
Zeke spent most of his time in wrestling like this.
Or on his back being pinned.
But either way, he was giggling pretty much the whole time.

For basketball, they separated them by ages.
Zeke got stuck in a group of 5 year old girls.
He was not amused.

This Weekend's Funnies

My grandma came for a visit with my mom this weekend.  She brought gifts for all, including Minion shower gel for the boys.  It smells like bananas which should be no surprise if you know the Minion movies.  However, Kenson's first response was a very serious, "This doesn't smell like Minion."

Speaking of smells, Conleigh was playing super hero/kung fu fighter/ninja in the sprinkler on Monday.  She asked me if I knew what her super power was and I replied that I didn't.  I should have left that alone but I didn't.  Because her super power was turning dirt into poop.  Because poop smells bad.  I have no idea...

And since my kids perhaps pay a bit more attention to such things than others might, I asked Zeke to take out the trash even though it wasn't his chore for the day.  (It was Kenson's job.)  He agreed to the task and I told him he was a peach.  To which he replied, "I don't want to be peach."  Apparently, he thought I was making him take out the trash because he was peach.  Reverse discrimination at its finest.

The Peacock

Who knew our local zoo's peacock would be the source of entertainment today?  We squeezed in a trip to the zoo today, in between the last day of school and the first day of swim team practice.  Zeke was quick to tell me before we left that he was going to collect things while we were at the zoo, things like rocks but not peacock poop.  

And since boys love poop, Kai followed suit with his conversation at the zoo.  Considering a peacock's close ties to bathroom words, I probably should not have been surprised to hear him call it a 'poopcock.'  Honest mistake... 

Conversations with my Favorite Five Year Old

"3 times 12 is...wait, don't tell me.  36.  Because 3 times 10 is 30 and then you just count by 2's."

"Mom, did you know only male crickets make noise?"

"Bees do a butt dance to tell the other bees where the flowers are."

"Sharks are both nocturnal and not.  Because they have to swim at night or they would die."

Pet Shrimp

We picked up a few things at Hy-vee (a midwest grocery store chain) yesterday.  We don't shop there often but we've been there enough for my kids to kind of have a feel for the store layout.  As we were heading down one aisle, Zeke wondered if they still had their pet shrimp.  I definitely was scratching my head until we go to the end of the aisle when Zeke spotted them and quickly pointed them out.  Lobster...in tanks...ready for someone to cook and eat.  Definitely not pet shrimp.

Just Another Afternoon with Zeke-Ten Fingers are Overrated

"Mom!  Look at my carrot!  It's so skinny!"
Don't need ten fingers to use a vegetable peeler, as evidenced by the piles on the floor.

Don't Need Ten...to have super handwriting!
I think this might be Zeke's first letter.
I'll let you all decipher the invented spelling.

Happy Birthday, Jesus

"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them."

Zeke's preschool class shared the Christmas story at their program.
Zeke was a star.
Kenson, who is currently all over idioms and double meaning words,
was quick to point out that Zeke would be the "star" of the show.
Kenson thought that was hilarious.

Stars, wisemen, the baby...
why not turn your dog into a shepherd?

That Time of Year

My kids are nuts for Christmas right now.  Unfortunately, that seems to be rubbing off into all aspects of life.  Zeke yesterday yelled from the bathroom, "Mom!  I just went poop and it looks like a candy cane!"  Perhaps we could not be quite so excited...

Then on the way home from school, Zeke started asking the big kids how Santa got into our house.  Kenson was the all knowing older brother who explained that our roof has a very thin pipe that Santa uses, that Santa pokes himself with a needle and squeezes all the air out, so that he can slide down it.  Conleigh then interjected that Santa was plump and full of blubber.  Kenson continued that Santa then pumped himself back up with air and put a patch on to cover up the hole.  Kai was not going to be left out because he actually knows what a hole is and is somewhat fascinated by holes of all kinds, from belly buttons to holes in the dirt to holes in clothes.  He grinned like he knew exactly what the big kids were talking about and added emphatically, "Hole!"

Ending with a cute kid pic as the two little boys enjoyed the snow on Monday morning...

Doubles

Zeke's latest fascination involved doubling numbers.  Not just easy ones either.  "28 + 28 = 56?"  "And 56 + 56 is 112?" "And 112  + 112 = 224?"  Silly boy!  I love watching his brain figuring out the why behind math and I love thinking about how he might use those skills in the future.

Isn't that one of the sweet joys of parenthood?  Sifting through all of the pieces of who are kids are and dreaming about their potentials.  Not their potential incomes or the potential brilliance of their IQs but their potential to learn, to be passionate about a topic, to use their gifts be it academic or relational or creative or a niche skill to bless others.  I think it's one of the ways those who are stuck in a parenting hard spot or who are left consumed by the monotony of life can find joy because joy is hope spilled over.  Watching our kids with hope for their futures swelling up in our hearts, anticipating how God is going to work in their hearts and minds, there's just something about that that I love.  

Hidden Gem

Our local college's early childhood department invested in creating a nature playground in their "backyard."   I'd say in some ways it's a hidden gem because it doesn't always get a ton of use despite it being a pretty entertaining place to hang out.  It's the sort of place I would design if I ran a day care center and similar in a lot of ways to the elements I put in our own backyard space.  Sand and dirt, stumps used as stepping stones, piles of discarded sticks and trunks and wood to build with:  there's just something really engaging about those types of materials.  This week, I let Zeke take his bike and we walked over.  Such a small thing but he was so excited to pedal instead of walk.

There were lots of plastic animals hiding in the sand so Zeke's plan was to bury them all in one place.

Kai helped.

After they were all buried, you must make an "X" to mark the spot.

Playing the wooden xylophone

Gotta keep up

Jump!

And a little bit of cheese!

How to Make Baked Ravioli, High Altitude Version

D took his soccer team to a local college game last week.  Since his two assistant coaches live out of town and he asked them to stay in town to go to the game, he invited them over for supper before the game.  Zeke helped me make baked ravioli for the occasion..  For some reason, watching him help from his lofty perch on our dining room table bench made me chuckle.

It's really a super easy recipe, that is really yummy.  I don't do a ton of premade food items but this is one recipe that uses processed and convenience items that I really like.

Bring a pot of water to boil.  Add 16 ounces of frozen ravioli and cook a few minutes, until the ravioli start to float.  While you are doing that, make the sauce by combining 2 cups of spaghetti sauce with 1/3 cup cream cheese in a saucepan.  Cook on the stovetop until the cream cheese is melted throughout the sauce.  Drain ravioli and place into a greased casserole dish or an 8 x 8 pan.  Top with sauce.  (You can add mozerella, parmesan, or another Italian cheese on top too.)  Bake for 20 minutes or so at 350.   An 8 x 8 pan would not feed us at all so this is also easily doubled.  (From DamnDelicious.)

And if nothing else, make it standing really high up, just so you can say you did.

Frogs

You might be raising a boy if...

he comes in from outside, into the kitchen, and proceeds to show you his broken flip flop.  When you send him over to throw it away, you turn back to where he once was standing and there is a frog on the floor.  Upon asking why there is a frog inside, he nonchalantly says (as in oh, yes, I thought I was forgetting something), "I must have left him in my pocket."  For the record, this is the second day this week there has been a frog inside.

Ribbit!

Happy Birthday, Zeke!

Zeke turned five this week and we celebrated with a whirlwind trip to Minnesota for a visit with the hand surgeon followed by a trip to Norfolk to meet up with D's family.  We are now almost 15 months post original surgery on the hand to toe transfer and everything looks fantastic.  We don't have to visit the hand doctor for a year which means we are just doing yearly follow ups now.  We also stayed with our friends, the Marquis' who live on the edge of Minneapolis.  So fun to visit with them.  And fun for Mom to since I usually end up chit chatting with my friend, Hilary, until the wee hours of the morning.  D's brother was back from Boise this last week so we did our return trip through Norfolk so we could visit with him, his wife, and D's dad and step mom.  Zeke's birthday happened to fall on the day after our doctor's appointment and the day of our Norfolk trip.   Zeke's birthday wishes were 1.  a Power Ranger toy (my kids are obsessed with this show...can you hear the excitement in my voice?  What's not to love about 200+ episodes featuring the same plot, bad acting, and lots of loud fighting noises?) 2.  To decorate his own birthday cake and 3.  A trip to the Lincoln Children's Zoo.  We've accomplished the first two.  I'm hoping the weather cools down so we can fit in #3.

Zeke was quick to point out yesterday that he really didn't feel any different, meaning that 4 feels no different than 5.  I think he was a smidge disappointed.  I am always in awe of people who can write a succinct little passage about their children that seems to sum up so well who they believe their child to be.  I am not good at that at all.  Often on their birthdays, I wish I had a bit better word picture to share that captures them in all their glory and today is no exception.

Zeke is such a character.  It seems like he endears himself to most people, kids and adults alike.  He is persistent and tenacious, unwilling to give up until he feels like he has accomplished what he set out to do.  He is smart as a whip and his ever growing vocabulary impresses me.  He is turning into more of a big brother, one who helps and looks after the smaller one.  With a wrinkle of his nose, his smile is infectious, often done with a twinkle in his eye.  Those rosebud lips that were one of the first things I noticed about him in China are still there, just a bit bigger, on a bit bigger kid.  I think all the time of how so many people would have underestimated him had he stayed in China and that somehow I lucked out on getting to enjoy his presence.

Grandpa Dave and Uncle Daniel playing ladderball while Kenson watched.
Kenson loved being in the thick of the hotly contested games.

Enjoying a bit more ladderball

Sprinler and ball fun with Uncle Daniel and Aunt Tiffany

More sprinklers, less ball

This may have been right before Daniel accidentally nailed Zeke in the head with the ball
which meant lots of tears from an overtired kid.

This was some type of wrestling match...we'll leave it at that.

Enjoying some goodies from Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa got a cake and so did Mom and Dad so Zeke got two cakes.
The shark cake definitely was perfect.
Great Uncle Larry and Great Aunt Sandy plus cousin Colby joined us for supper and cake.

Since Zeke wanted to decorate his own cake, cake #2 made it back home for that event.
(Saved Mom from having to back another cake...phew!)
Zeke wanted to decorate himself originally but he ended up asking Dad to do the artwork.
We ended up having our friend,s, Luke and Gabe, over as their mom and dad needed a sitter
so cake #2 was shared with friends.

Spelling Lessons

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the words Zeke first spelled were his own name followed by the word "shark."  He's since then progressed to being able to spell "Mom", "Kenson", "Kai", "octopus", and "Grayson."  (Grayson is a friend from school who happens to share the same last three letters as Kenson which makes that one easy.)  However, word number seven is a hoot.  It's "butt".  Zeke saw it in a book and has been practicing spelling it often.  Boys, boys, boys....

Asian Fusion

The little boys and I grabbed groceries at Walmart today.  I was wanting some crunchy chow mein noodles to make an Asian salad with but Walmart was out.  So when we got done at Walmart, I thought we'd try the one Asian market in our town.  By my best guess, it's actually a Vietnamese store so I wasn't sure if they would have chow mein noodles but I have often thought I'd like to stop in and this seemed like a good opportunity to do just that.  Definitely made me think of a little Asian shop stall in a place like China or Vietnam.  Every shelf was full of noodles and jarred sauces, all sorts of stuff you can't usually get at an American supermarket.  Occasionally, there was a can of Dole pineapple or Del Monte peas.  Freezers and refrigerator cases stuffed full of shrimp, pork, and tofu plus things like lemongrass and ginger.  I didn't even notice the live crabs that were sitting in a cardboard box on the floor by the checkout until we were waiting to pay.  We didn't find our chow mein noodles but we did get lunch:  ramen-like chicken Pho (just add water), a homemade container that by the American writing on it was supposed to contain pork blood but instead was full of pickled vegetables (carrots and daikon radish, I think), and a homemade red bean paste bun.  I am apparently feeling ethnic today since I almost bought plantains at Walmart to do Banan Peze (fried Haitian style plantains).

Zeke ate two huge helping of the Vietnamese Pho.  He also really liked the vegetables which from my quick little bit of research are just veggies in rice vinegar, salt, and water.  Kai also ate the carrots which I thought was pretty funny considering they were pretty darn sour.

Bean paste buns are a common Chinese item.  It's a sweet bread filled with a sweet bean paste and sprinkled with black sesame seeds.  It's not super sweet, as most Chinese pastries are not.  It also has the often used Asian twist of sweet and savory together.  Maybe it was 5 Spice powder I was tasting?  Zeke thought it was great.

It's April Fools Day!

From Zeke today:

"Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"

"You have a worm on your head!"

Cue the maniacal laughter.

So close, buddy, so close.  You've got that it's supposed to be a joke.  And you've got that it's about tricking people.  Now to just figure out that you don't have to combine the joke with the trick.

He also wanted to know if tomorrow would be April Fools Second Day.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch...

The two biggest kids went with D to soccer conditioning.  Apparently, as they were driving home, Conleigh remarked that she sure hoped the house hadn't exploded while they were gone.  Kenson wasn't fazed because he asserted that if that had happened, Mom probably would have called us.  About the same time as that conversation was happening, Zeke and I were playing a tweaked version of Pictionary on the patio doors using dry erase markers.  Basically, the person who was drawing picked something to draw and the other person had to guess what it was.  You laugh, but playing that game with a 4 year old requires a lot of skill in terms of guessing appropriately.  I guessed incorrectly several times.  Two of those times probably should not have counted.  The first time he drew a shark, but not just any shark, a blue shark.  I guessed great white, lemon, tiger, zebra, and goblin which were all not right.  The second instance where I'd like a redo involved Zeke drawing a Japanese spider crab.  Somehow, I failed to entertain that as even a remote possibility.