Noun, Verb, or Both?

It's been a poop week at our house.  Not sure why.  Just so you know it's also been a week that's spoke to my love languages ie the love of words.  Ever wondered why you cannot use dung as a verb?  As in when your mom asks what your brother is doing downstairs, why you cannot reply "He's dunging."  And lucky me!  I hit the gold mine when a few days later, one of my kids who has been dealing with constipation issues told me they were going to the bathroom to stool.  Poop and it's synonyms...not as interchangeable as you'd think.

That Time of Year

My kids are nuts for Christmas right now.  Unfortunately, that seems to be rubbing off into all aspects of life.  Zeke yesterday yelled from the bathroom, "Mom!  I just went poop and it looks like a candy cane!"  Perhaps we could not be quite so excited...

Then on the way home from school, Zeke started asking the big kids how Santa got into our house.  Kenson was the all knowing older brother who explained that our roof has a very thin pipe that Santa uses, that Santa pokes himself with a needle and squeezes all the air out, so that he can slide down it.  Conleigh then interjected that Santa was plump and full of blubber.  Kenson continued that Santa then pumped himself back up with air and put a patch on to cover up the hole.  Kai was not going to be left out because he actually knows what a hole is and is somewhat fascinated by holes of all kinds, from belly buttons to holes in the dirt to holes in clothes.  He grinned like he knew exactly what the big kids were talking about and added emphatically, "Hole!"

Ending with a cute kid pic as the two little boys enjoyed the snow on Monday morning...

Truths from Monday

If your parent is a teacher at the elementary school you attend, you should probably not explain your late homework by saying, "My parents don't allow me to do homework at home over the weekend."  

Catching grasshoppers in boxes, empty water bottles,  and old ice cream pails and planning to sell them for $1 each may not be the get-rich-quick scheme you had hoped.  Apparently, the grasshopper market in Nebraska is pretty saturated.

Frogs

You might be raising a boy if...

he comes in from outside, into the kitchen, and proceeds to show you his broken flip flop.  When you send him over to throw it away, you turn back to where he once was standing and there is a frog on the floor.  Upon asking why there is a frog inside, he nonchalantly says (as in oh, yes, I thought I was forgetting something), "I must have left him in my pocket."  For the record, this is the second day this week there has been a frog inside.

Ribbit!

Literary Influence

Weighed down with a Nerf rifle and several Nerf pistols, today I watched as my kids played make believe while wrapped up in the magic of a great book.  Can you guess their inspiration?

"Yes, I just shot a turkey!"  (Followed by Mom saying, "Zeke, quit shooting the dog.")

"Downstairs can be Independence."

"Let's save the squirrel because we are going to need food to eat during the winter."

"We're almost like Laura and Mary but not quite."

All done while jamming to the tunes of Kidz Bop and Call Me Maybe on their tablets.  (Insert wrinkled forehead from Mom.)

Spelling Lessons

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the words Zeke first spelled were his own name followed by the word "shark."  He's since then progressed to being able to spell "Mom", "Kenson", "Kai", "octopus", and "Grayson."  (Grayson is a friend from school who happens to share the same last three letters as Kenson which makes that one easy.)  However, word number seven is a hoot.  It's "butt".  Zeke saw it in a book and has been practicing spelling it often.  Boys, boys, boys....

Multiple Choice Quiz

One of these is not an event that actually happened this week at our house.  Can you guess which one?

Choice A:
After a good week of swollen gums, Kai finally cut his top two teeth.

Choice B:
Zeke poked a rooster with a stick and is now sporting a 4 inch long scratch on his cheek.

Choice C:
Some extremely creative (eh hem-naughty!) child super glued random objects to the unfinished basement floor.

Wildlife Adventures

Zeke caught an itty bitty frog today.  (If any of you reading were present at the MOPS end of year potluck and saw him holding 4-5 frogs at a time, it was similar.  My sympathy lies with the frog who is being held by a boy who is lacking fingers.  It is probably awfully uncomfortable to be smashed against a boy's chest as he tries to keep you from hopping away.)  I was feeding the baby so my attention was elsewhere and I had threatened all of my children with loss of life and limb if they came inside and interrupted me while I was trying to put Kai down for a nap so when I headed out to check on them, they had helped themselves to one of our lidded drinking glasses to hold the frog.  I watched them play a bit, then headed in to fix lunch.  Once lunch was ready, I went out to tell the kids to come in and to tell Zeke that he needed to release the frog.  Zeke though met me as I was heading out, showing me his empty cup, and telling me that he had already let the frog go.  I should have known better.  But I took it at face value.  The kids came in, washed up, and ate their raviolis.  Next on the agenda was an hour of quiet time where everyone has to go to separate rooms and play quietly.  I usually get everyone settled but was picking up lunch first so I sent the three big kids back to their rooms unattended.  A few seconds later, Kenson pipes up, "Mom.  Zeke has the frog in here."  A quick trip to the boys' bedroom and, sure enough, the frog was sitting on Zeke's bed.  Phrase #205 that I didn't envision myself saying today, "Zeke, take the frog out of your room. "  (I think he had actually stored him the top box of Conleigh's jewelry box.)  Needless to say, the frog got a personal escort out of the house by the mama.

Then as if that wasn't enough excitement for the day, we had a deer traipse behind our backyard to eat the apples off of the tree in the vacant lot that sits right behind our house.  Our neighbor had shared a few days ago that he saw a buck doing the same thing so Zeke was quick to share with him that we too saw a deer.  Our neighbor then shared that he had gotten a wildlife camera for his birthday or Christmas (or some other random holiday-I am seriously a poor listener at times) and had set it up back by the apple trees.  Um, awesome...except my kids were back there playing a few days ago and told me something about their being a camera in the tree.  I of course ignored their crazy talk and chalked it up to looney kids.  At least now our neighbor has a heads up that not only did he probably capture the deer but he probably also captured a bunch of hooligan neighbor children, thumbs in their ears, tongues wagging, while they bulged out their eyes and grinned like crazy.

Of Birthdays and Boogers

For birthdays, we let our kids have 3 birthday wishes instead of a ton of presents.  They wish for things like specific cakes, having friends over, a specific toy, or eating at a certain restaurant.  It's not uncommon for my kids to talk about what they are going to wish for months in advance, dreaming about the possibilities.

This morning, the conversation started like it usually does, with Kenson saying "For my birthday, I'm having..."  But then I heard "For my birthday, I'm having a cake with boogers on it."  Then some giggles and "No, I'm not.  But if I wanted to I could."  This was followed by the ever encouraging Zeke chanting, "Do it!"  Do it!  Do it!"

I'm just glad to know that he still thinks I am capable of all things, including putting boogers on a cake.

From Refinement to Testosterone

A few words from Kenson, said within about 30 minutes of each other...

Said gently, with much seriousness-"I can't eat those cucumbers.  They make me ill."

Said while swinging an arm through the air, while balancing half on, half off the chair-"I think I need to go punch something!"

A Boy and His Worm

Nothing says happiness like a boy and a worm.

"Worm in cup"

"Worm in rocks"

"Worm in wah der"

"Worm in truck"

"Worm broke"

"Worm hiding"

If you are a worm who happens to be listening, hide first, not last.

Real Life Parenting Conversation #290

Me (about 20 minutes after bathtime):  Kenson, when you take a bath, you need to make sure you use the washcloth underneath your arms because your armpits are still kind of stinky.  Can you smell them because I sure can?

Kenson (sniffing for a moment, then the light bulb moment):  Ohhh, that's what my armpits smell like.  I thought that was my butt smell but it's my armpit smell!

Not Bubble Gum and Frogs...

"Boys are found everywhere... on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around, or jumping to. A boy is truth with dirt on its face, beauty with a cut on its finger, wisdom with bubble gum in its hair, and the hope of the future with a frog in its pocket."

Author: Alan Marshall Beck

 

Dot stickers are great fun...next time maybe they'll get on the paper, especially since they hurt when you take the off of your face.

Mama made banana bread.  Then she gave me flour and cinnamon and let me play!  Time for a new shirt!

 

 

Suppertime Prayer

"Dear God,
Thank you for Nicky and Alex.  And help my nose feel better.  And please keep the boogers from going down my throat.
Amen."

Ah, sweet honesty from Mr. Kenson who is struggling with a bit of head congestion.

Things I Wish I Hadn't Seen This Week

*my daughter's face about 1 inch away from the water level  of a public restroom toilet.  (Sunday, we were eating out and Conleigh and I went to the bathroom. As we were left the table, Derek made a comment about going to powder our noses. Conleigh thought he said potty with your nose. I tried to explain but to no avail. As soon as we got in the bathroom, the girl tried to plant her nose in the toilet. She was within inches of a face first dive into the bowl. Thankfully it wasn't a nasty gas station bathroom, you know the ones where they still have the fabric towel that rotates through the dispenser.)

*my son drool on his face and then use the ear of his new sock monkey to wipe it up

*my daughter bring snow boots in from the back porch, still packed with snow, only to find her licking the sole to eat that snow

In a similar vein, there are many more serious things that my kids do that I wish I hadn't seen.  That's part of being a parent.  Helping kids navigate their behaviors and teaching them what is acceptable and what is not.  My daughter is full of drama... in a lot of ways.  She is opinionated and not afraid to tell you what she thinks.  She has always had the attitude of "if you would just listen to me and hear my point of view, you would surely understand and do it MY way!"  (Eerie how much like me she is!)  Last night at supper, D was reminding her about good table manners and her body started with the teenager posture.  (Hands on hips, eyes headed back towards the recesses of her brain, mouth in go mode)  D warned her not to say anything and the conversation continued along these lines;

D:  Don't say anything.
Conleigh:  But...
D:  Do not back talk.
Conleigh:  I ....
D:  Stop.
Conleigh:  Am.....

The final tipping point was when somehow she did manage to get a word in.  With her fingers pinched in demonstration, Conleigh uttered the words "Just a 'ittle bit?"  As in, can I just talk back a little bit?  I had to leave the room as I was laughing way too hard. 

Perhaps she'll be a lawyer. 

Or a politician.

We made pasta noodle necklaces at library today.  Kenson has already informed me that after his nap he will be using it as a sling to defeat Goliath....gotta love boys.

A Few Line from the Peanut Gallery

Conleigh really likes to say, "Yummy in my throat!"  To get the full affect you must hear it when said it a raspy three year old voice, with similar inflections to "Yummy in my tummy!"

Did you know that Tinkerbell and Woody from Toy Store have a thing?  Apparently they kiss a lot because "dem love each other."  For the record, it's Kenson who dreamed up and acted out this romantic liason.

Conleigh has started calling Kenson "buddy".  As in "Buddy, I got your coat!" or "There you are, Buddy!"  Again, it's better with the raspy voice.

We went to Pizza Hut with my folks last weekend and tried to get Kenson to count for them.  He counted to five which isn't as far as he can go so our exact words were "No, count as high as you can."  His little hand shot up in the air and he continued to count to five.  Again, we said, "No, as high as you can."  When he tried to stretch that hand up higher and higher, we finally realized he was reaching as high as he could and counting.  Which is almost what we meant.

We've been on a bit of a David and Goliath kick lately.  Kenson really liked to sing "Only a Boy Named David" at bedtime and then I showed him the VeggieTales version, Dave and the Giant Pickle.   So today I was priveleged to watch both of them act all of this out.  Kenson started by using a set of headphones as a sling (which promptly got taken away).  Then Conleigh slammed the bathroom door and told me to be careful because there was a giant pickle in there.  At some point, the kid sized chairs were taken into the bathroom to play the part of the giant pickle.  And then they started shoving papers under the door for the giant pickle.  The best part though was the giant fighting ensemble Conleigh picked out...I'm sure Goliath would have run far and fast if he had seen this coming.

(Aqua frilly skirt used as a capelet, pink pants with pink frilly skirt actually used as a skirt, cowboy boots, and a vacuum cleaner attachment horse...A pair of pink high heel princess shoes alternated with the cowyboy boots; you just got the cowboy boot version.)

Bullriding Conversations

We live in the Midwest.  Wranglers and cowboy hats and horses and boots are part of life, especially around where I grew up.  With that goes rodeos and we've been to several with the kids.  So this afternoon there was bullriding on tv and I turned it there so the kids could watch.  Here's the conversation that ensued.

Kenson, with a "those people are crazy experession" on his face...."I don't want to ride a bull when I get big because I could get hurt.  I will ride a horse.   And a buckin' bronco."  A few seconds of silence, followed by "What's a buckin' bronco?  A horse?"  A few minutes later, while looking at me, "Do you want to ride buckin' broncos when you get big?  Why you not want to ride buckin' bronco?"  A few minutes later "Why he got horns?"  Then on to the actual cowboy, "Him have cows at his house?"  Followed by some footage of a rough ride and a hurt cowboy."He hurt his nose?  He bleed.  He have to go to the hosbital?  He ride his horse to the hosbital?"  I'll spare you the remainder of the 30 minutes or so of conversation.  If you've ever sat with a 3 or 4 year old, you know why...there's simply no way to accurately document the amount of randomness that occus.

Somewhere in the middle of that, I asked him if he wanted to a bullfighter instead.  "No, I just want to ride nice ones," he replied.

Smart boy...just remember all that for later in life.

At least we know the definition of tattling...

Today, I was in the kitchen and the kids were playing in the living room.  There was some scuffle, some griping and then Kenson yelling into me, "Mom!  Conleigh did such and such...and I'm tattling!"

I Can Not Make This Stuff Up...

Today we went to the doctor.  The hospital where the doctor is located has a bit of an unusual entrance, one with two white convex shapes.  Unusual enough for my son to remark, "Oh we're going to the doctor with the boobs."  Unusual enough for him to conclude the visit with the words, "Bye boobs!" 

One can only laugh and be thankful that he was in our car as he said such things.  Although perhaps being outside of the car would have been a source of joy and encouragement for those within earshot.

Here's the photo...you make the call...boobs or not...what say you?