Saturday, October 31, 2009

K's thoughts on Halloween

Mallowcream pumpkins, candy corn and dry roasted peanuts...I can now die happy.

Is it wrong to pass off the real spider woven cobwebs on my staircase as holiday decor? (True story, they really are there. And the worst part is, I've seen them every morning for the last 7 days but have been too lazy to do anything about it.)

Who's Your Favorite Raggedy Andy?

I know who mine is...Happy Halloween!

(Yes, we have a Raggedy Andy doll and we loved dressing like him.)

Friday, October 30, 2009

It's the Great Pumpkin

The Pumpkin

The Master Carver

The Plan...A jack o lantern wearing a Huskers football helmet

Pumpkin guts

Seeds to roast

The candle goes in there

Don't blow it out


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Pre-school Cooking (Naan)

We made Naan this week. Can you say yummo? Naan is a traditional Indian flatbread, usually grilled. We did ours on the stovetop in a pan but I have done it on my George Foreman grill. It's kind of time consuming but it is wonderfully crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, and slightly garlicy. Even though it's Indian in nature, it goes great with all sorts of soups and Italian dishes. And it was a perfect item for Kenson to help with. Once your dough has risen in a bowl, you add your garlic, punch it down, and form it into small golfball sized spheres. Then they raise again. After that, you need to roll them out, brush them with butter, and cook in your pan/on your grill. It works best if someone can roll while the other person butters and bakes them. What a perfect task for a preschooler: rolling out the dough using a rolling pin. I really didn't have to offer too much assistance and he had a great time. He so loves to help so he was thrilled to have a real job.

Photo Time

We got professional photos taken on Sunday. It's one of those firsts that I was so anxious for. And excited about. Probably too excited. While we didn't spend a crazy amount, we ended up with more pictures than you can shake a stick at, way more than what we would ever need. Partially because we went to Portrait Innovations. They did a great job, especially considering they are a national photo group who sees lots of people in a day. The photo quality was good. It was easy in and easy out. You get to leave with your photos that day. But, they don't have their packages laid out on paper. You have to go over it with them on the computer while your kid who been on his best behavior for the last 30-45 minutes is trying to hold it together still so we will still get to go the ice cream store. I felt rushed, like I couldn't take the time I really wanted to take to get the best deal. Regardless, we walked away feeling like our kid was the cutest kid on the planet which is how you want to feel after you've taken photos.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Fall Thoughts from Kenson

The fall season is upon us and with that, you should know how things look through the eyes of someone experiencing it all for the first time.

I have purposely avoided the Halloween displays in the stores just because some of them have scary stuff and because we don't really do a lot of Halloween anyway. So Kenson's first experience with the lighted displays have been Christmas ones with the blow up snowmen, lighted reindeer, etc.. One of the ones we saw had lots of snowmen which really caught his attention. A few weeks later we were eating at Carlos O'Kellys and they had an inflatable witch at the door. Kenson was mesmerized. He ran right up and called out, "Snowman!" Needless to say, the restaurant employee standing at the front counter was amused. Good to know he can generalize and attach similar meanings to similar things, I guess.

Moving on to more witchy fun...
My mother in law gave us a fiber optic witch which D brought up a few days ago. I plugged it in and showed it to Kenson who promptly called it a snowman. After reviewing the correct name, he looks at it carefully, starts pondering, and thoughtfully says, "Boobs?" As in, "Does she have boobs?" I'm just glad he wasn't lifting up her skirt to see what was under there!

Just for the G-Ma

I asked Kenson today who was coming on Saturday. He excitedly said, "Grandma!" And then he asked very seriously, "Is it today?"

Sunday, October 25, 2009

More Pre-school Stuff

Easiest name activity ever...

Name puzzles (Write name on index cards. Cut apart. I used different colors to write the name so that the colors would help make matching the parts up easier. To put them together, I had him find all the cards with K's and put them in one pile and then go back and match the other half up.)

I've kind of been slacking and not doing real great at getting activities in. I have a plan and activities found; I've just been too lazy to actually do it. We did start on some fall things including the idea that L is for leaf.
Another super easy activity...

Draw an L onto a piece of cardstock. Glue assorted leaves onto the L. We talked about stand up tall lines and laying down lines as we drew and cut. I personally think these would make a great fall display if you had some frames/mats to put them in. You could also use an assortment of fall items like acorns, seed pods, grasses, etc.. Or you could spell out other things like "happy fall" or "give thanks." I've done something like that on scrapbook paper for a collaborative class project and put it on a bulletin board for a very cute end product.

Friday, October 23, 2009

God and Me-The Rub

You know that saying, the rub? It's kind of like where the pedal meets the road, I guess. It's kind of a weird saying. (One the etymological nerd in me kind of would like to know more about.) Spiritually though, I think I might be in the rub, if there is such a place.

I'm not sure where I am. I am very weary of Conleigh's adoption. My heart is heavy about it. A lot. It seems like every so often, I just get into a funk about it, where bedtime because torture because all I can think of as I am quieting myself to go to sleep it Conleigh. And then I want to run downstairs and check email to see if there's some positive news. Or run downstairs and surf the Internet hoping maybe I'd find something somewhere that would give me a little bit more hope about getting out of IB***. Or run downstairs and check ticket prices and try to figure out a way to get to Haiti sometime within the next few months. When I am quiet, I want to be busy. I want to be SOMETHING. I am tired of sitting static and still. And I'm tired of God not fixing it.

But this week, God has continued to remind me of His desire for me to stay out of it, of His desire for me to sit and for Him to work. God reminded me that last week with stories of Hagar and Sarai, Rebecca, and Dinah. He asked me not to doubt His goodness.

And this week, God has steadily continued to give me that same message. After two days of fretting and stewing, one evening of browsing the Internet trying to find other families in our position, an email sent to a children's advocate/lawyer in Haiti, and lots of mental complaining, God asked me to read some Psalms. I think that's because Psalms are so full of vivid descriptions of God's character; they always seem to remind me of Who God is. So I put aside the book I was reading and the Bible reading plan I was following and flopped The Message open to a Psalm. Psalm 115-118 actually. And God's constant voice came though. The Message version of Ps. 116:7 is "Relax and rest; God has showered you with His blessings." NIV is "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. " More of God saying to stop, to enjoy what I have, to trust that He will continue to bless us.

Then tonight, as D and I sat down to read a Bible story before bed with Kenson, we read the story of Gideon. Gideon was asked by God to lead an army against enemies of Israel. And God whittled Gideon's army down from 32, 000 men to 300 men. God doesn't need thousands of people or hundreds of people to accomplish His plan. And He doesn't need me to spend my time contacting as many people as I can, trying to find a solution to my problems. At least not now. Maybe there will be a time and a place for that. But it just seems like I am continually hearing the same message. "Be content in my faithfulness." "Don't doubt my good plans for your family." "Trust My ability to be at work in this situation."

And therein lies the rub. I'm not sure I like that message very much. I would much rather have an active role. I would much rather stew about if God will be faithful and bring Conleigh home. I like misery and unhappiness and worry. They sometimes feel much safer than trusting. And it's easier; there's less resistance in my heart to those first things.

I don't want to be there but that's just where I've been the last few days. It seems like it comes and goes so here's hoping we're on the upswing. Hoping I can tap into God's Spirit and choose trust rather than doubt.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Literal Interpretations

We all know that it takes kids awhile to develop a sense of the abstract, that kids process things very literally. Today, Kenson was full of literal thoughts.

While reading our new library book about a pumpking patch, Kenson looked at the photos that showed a fall pumpkin patch and a tractor. It looked a lot like the scene we saw on our own trip to the pumpkin patch. Kenson wanted to know, "Where's Kenson?" So I had to explain to him that it wasn't the same place we went to. Then later on in the book there was a picture of the back of a little boy who was looking at a giant pumpkin. Kenson pointed at the boy and said, "Kenson?" Since the boy in the photo was Caucasian, I told Kenson that it wasn't him, that the boy had skin that was the same color as Mama's. I asked him what color his skin was and he said "black" which is just his educated guess since he is very inconsistent with colors. So I told him that is was actually a shade of brown, that he had chocolate colored skin. And then he tried to lick himself. Just to see if it was actually chocolate, I suppose.

Then at supper tonight he started drinking his milk really fast, trying to make himself burp. D told him to stop but about 5 minutes later, he succeeded in burping accidentally but then followed that with more attempts at forcing a belch. I told him he needed to stop or he would sit on the stairs, that we don't burp at the table. Without missing a beat and with total innocence, he pointed towards the living room and says, "In there?" As in, we can't burp at the table because Mama said no but the living room is a different room.

Anyway, it's a good thing he's funny because after about 3 weeks of him being half sick, I have exhausted a lot of my patience with him. (We finally went to the doctor on Tuesday. He has not really had anything really wrong but he just doesn't feel all that great. Runny nose and watery eyes, a yucky cough but only at night and that actually disappeared for a week in the middle but then came back, lots of extra sleeping, lots of clingyness and crying, a 99.9 temp a couple of days but always knocked out by Tylenol and not on consecutive days. Just 3 weeks of blechiness.) I'm hoping the antibiotics help and that he gets back to his more chipper self; I'm really hoping that this isn't the new version of being three!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Dirty, Grime, Skin & Locs

My little boy is finally becoming a dirt magnet. It has taken him a while to warm up to all things boy but the more secure he feels and with the help of a set of twin boys named Nicky and Alex, he is figuring this boy thing out. Yesterday was really nice and he spent the better part of the afternoon underneath the slide, digging and playing in the dirt. For the record, dirt shows up on chocolate colored skin. I also think he spent some time making leaf confetti. And apparently he spent time tossing that confetti in the air or rolling in it. At any rate, he came inside yesterday dirtier than he had ever come in before. I've waited so long to have a filthy little boy; I kind of enjoyed it.

Note the red and yellow chunks...some parents of kids with locs use their vacuum to get chunkies or sand out of their hair. We didn't go that far.

On the flip side of the dirty is the clean up. I shook the big chunks out of his hair and skipped our nightly moisturizer. This morning, he took a bath and washed his hair using conditioner as shampoo. (Neutrogena Deep Recovery Mask) Then, after he got out of the bathtub, I patted his hair so it was a bit dryer than soaking wet and used a small amount of Butter Me Up by Sisters Smith. Next I spent about ten minutes retwisted any fuzzy looking locs. I've been having trouble keeping the locs frizz free which is just part of the locking process. Everythings I've read says that when you are about halfway to locked, the frizziness about makes you crazy. I wouldn't say I'm going crazy but I do think the locs have started losing the coiled twist look and are looking more locked and thus a bit more rugged. Anyway, I haven't really followed the wet hair with the Butter Me Up product before and I was pleasantly surprised at how it helped shape up the look of his locs so they didn't look so raggedy. I have to say the best method I have found for improving the look of the locs instantly is to get the locs soaking wet. A spray with water works okay but the locs seem to instantly freshen up after a shower or a bath.

What a ham! Gotta love that smile!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

God and Me- Doubting His Goodness

This last week God has used two songs to minister to my heart. I have literally had tears in my eyes as I've considered what God might be teaching me about life and faith as I've listened to these songs multiple times. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of self centeredness and self absorbtion. I spend my time there when I feel like God isn't being fair to me, when I feel like life is handing me a raw deal.

And to be honest, in a lot of ways, I have felt like the last few years have been full of more than my fair share of disappointments and injustice. In January 2008, my mother in law died at age 52 after a very short 4 month battle with lung cancer. My grandmother and D's grandpa died the following December and January respectively. In the case of D's grandpa, Kenson had been home about a week. Kenson has missed knowing those family members and they have missed loving him in real life. We were the closest family member in miles to D's mom and tried to organize her care from afar. We are now the closest family member to D's grandmother and I often feel the weight of caring for her, even though that weight is mostly self imposed. We're selling our house but are still waiting for the right family, even though we feel like the move we will be making is what God wants for us and will enable us to minister in more ways. Conleigh's file has been delayed for what feels like an eternity; it is killing me to think that in January I will have not seen her for one year. And that we are no further along than we were last September.

But that's the is not fair. It's just not. And my sucky stuff has no more merit than someone else's sucky stuff.

As I've heard these two songs this week, God has continually reminded me of all the goodness He has given me, of how great His affections are for me. I've listened to these songs with my bubbly three year old sitting in the same car as me, healthy and happy and generally well adjusted. A three year old who less than a year earlier was in Haiti without the physical presence of his family. I've watched my mother in law get sick and die and watch my husband lose one of his best friends in the process. But we're standing on the other side of it, stronger and better because of it. I wouldn't wish that time back but I certainly wouldn't trade it for anything. God has blessed us with an amazing house that is warm and comfortable and cozy and will be our shelter until He says it's time to move on. And while I don't get the wait associated with Conleigh, I choose to believe that this wait is a part of bringing her home and the time that is perfect for her heart and mine.

I've also listened to all of this thinking about Hagar and Sarah's story, of how Sarah chose not to fully trust God's promise for her life, of how Sarah orchestrated her own Plan B, just in case God didn't hold up His end of the bargain. She doubted God's goodness. Those words, doubting God's goodness, have just been in my mind this week. I started a fiction book this week called Dinah's Tent, which is the story of Dinah, sister to Joseph, daughter of Jacob, granddaughter to Rebecca and Sarah. And as I've read I have seen how tangled the family has become with multiple wives and children jockeying for position in a family. I've seen how the family became a conglomeration of God and gods, of true alters and Asherah poles. And part of me has to wonder if Rebecca set the stage for the chaos by her choice to ask Hagar to bear her child.

It made me wonder what chaos I might be bringing into my own life by doubting God's goodness as well. Could I be spinning my own web of tangled lives all because I do not believe that God loves me and has a good plan for my life? It has made me realize how quickly my actions loose their luster when I frame it with the words, "doubting God's goodness."

May I choose this week to believe in His goodness. May you be encouraged to believe it in your own life. Listen to the songs God gave me this week. They are such powerful reminders of His loving presence in our lives.

Oh How He Loves Us

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Chance Encounters of a Redemptive Kind

Adoption in so many ways is all about redemption. It's one of the things I love most about my kids' stories. Not that they needed rescuing from their first moms. Not that my husband and I are their knights in shining armor, riding in to save the day. It's the idea that God in His grace, wisdom, and compassion formed them in their birth moms, saw the circumstances of their births, and orchestrated a divine plan to intersect their little lives with mine in order that His plan for their lives might be fulfilled. God has cared for them from the moment they were born and from that moment, He has had a plan for their lives that is bigger than anything I could imagine for them. It's a great spiritual redemption, one that magnifies God's provision. It's one that is true of every person, but one that I think becomes so much larger when under the lens of adoption.

My friend, Cate, wrote a beautiful post about how every person can have a part of this redemption story. You really ought to read it; I won't attempt to write anything nearly as nice because she has said it so well. And you ought to read it because one of the girlies she mentions, Eveline, is also near and dear to my heart. She lives at Kenson's orphanage with her sister, Saintania. They are older girls, teenagers. You can imagine how many people are scared off by their ages. And they have been through a lot. Multiple orphanages and multiple families who have stepped up and then stepped down. How crushing those moments must have been for their spirits. But if you could see these girls! They are simply amazing. Full of life and zeal. Eyes that seem to shout "I will survive!"

But there is a family now who is not stepping down, a family who is in it for good. A family whom I also know both from the blog world and in real life. They are almost at the end of the process but have quite a bit in fees yet to pay and DNA tests that have to be done. This family need financial assistance. I know there are those who think that if you have to be asking for money to finish your adoption, you shouldn't be adopting in the first place. For those of you who believe that, I'd ask you to say that to Saintania and Eveline, to look in their eyes and tell them how really only those who have their finances lined up should ask to be a part of God's story for their lives, that only those with x amount of dollars in their bank account need to apply to be their forever family.

Instead of looking at their faces and thinking that, I ask you instead to look at their faces and consider if you are a part of God's story for their lives. Yes, I said you. I know you don't know them. I know you don't know the parents and siblings who are waiting for these girls to come home. But that's what makes it even more amazing. What kind of a God must we be serving? What kind of a God would use mere people, strangers at that, to help write a chapter in the redemption story of two vibrant and resilent Haitian girls? That's the God I serve. The one who laughs at the impossible, who delights in the improbable, who relies on the slightly insane. What a God!

More Seedlings hat...cuter than the last?

I just finished my first two fleece hats with ear flaps and I have to say I think they might be even cuter than the others that I've finished. I'm quite enamored with them.

In general, I've sold quite a few hats and have been busy trying to make more. If you want a hat, the best thing to do would be to go to my etsy site and contact me about a custom order. Then I can make one in the style, color, size, design, etc. of your choosing.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Colors of the past few days

Brown...cinnamony brown carpet that is. We just put in new carpet in our living room and my sewing room. Hopefully, this will help our house sell better. Our old carpet was really yucky but I didn't want to replace it and then spill on it before our house sold. Our realtor actually suggested not replacing it so we just decided to sell the house with a monetary carpet allowance. But since we haven't had any real serious lookers yet, we thought maybe new carpet would help with the impression our house was giving people. I really like the carpet we put in and at our open house yesterday, a woman who was looking ended up calling her husband to come look at the house too because she really liked it. That's the most promising response we've had yet so maybe the carpet did the trick.

White...snow white flakes on both Saturday and Sunday. It's the middle of October. The grass is still green, the leaves still on the trees, it's just weird.

Black...and blue...and purple...and maybe yellow...the color of my toe. I stubbed it on the baby gate yesterday morning. I don't think it's broken but it sure hurts and has swelled and turned some funny colors. I also managed to hit it hard enough to basically loose my toenail. Nice! Why stubbing your toe hurts like the dickens, I'll never know.

Green...a lovely sage green. Several new hats that I just finished and posted on etsy are that color. I have basically been selling hats as soon as I put them on and have taken a couple of custom orders.

Red...cherries in the cherry bars I made for women's ministry tonight. The women's ministry has chosen the topic "The Seasons of Life" and has asked church women in all stages of life to share on certain topics each week. This week is young children. Last week was parenting teenagers. The week before that was taking on a caretaker role with parents. Other topics include Christ centered marriage, balancing work and family, postive relationships, and taking care of you. I kind of like the format as it's a nice departure from a book based study. If you're from the area and want more details, shoot me an email and I'll give the details. (Easiest cherry bars ever...mix up a yellow cake mix, add some almond extract. Pour into a 10 x 15 jelly roll pan. Drop spoonfuls of cherry pie filling randomly over the top. Bake. When cool, drizzle with your favorite frosting/glaze.)

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Conleigh Saga

In September, Conleigh's filed marked one year of sitting in the Haitian social service office, waiting for them to approve us as adoptive parents. Apparently, it is been held because we are 31 which is too young to adopt from Haiti based on their antiquated law which was written in 1974. If you've been following our story, you know the details of all of this so I'll spare you writing it all down again. (If you're curious, just click on the adoption topic under my topics group.)

We have been pressing for more details since April or so and have gotten several answers from our director asking for more information or updating us on what the processor was trying to accomplish. This week, our orphanage director informed us that our file has been sent for Presidential Dispensation. This means the president of Haiti will approve our adoption and once we have this approval we should be able to exit the office we are in. (Unfortunately, due to the chaos with the law, this is not an oddity.) I had been asking about this possibility for several months now so I'm thankful that we are perhaps headed in a direction that will get our file released. I don't know when our file was submitted to the president's office; I'm hoping that it's been there for a while now. As to the time frame for getting signed out of the president's office, that seems to be anybody's guess. I've asked around and have heard anywhere from two months to nine months. (Neither of which sound very appealing after being in IB*SR for so long already but there's not much I can do about it. At least our file isn't sitting in the same pile it's probably been sitting in.)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

More pre-school activities

We haven't done anything in the last couple of weeks but the week before that we worked on name stuff. The photo above is a paper collage we made with scrapbook paper, velum, stickers, and some K's I printed off using my computer. We modge podged some of the paper down with dilluted Elmer's , let it dry, and then glued more on top.
We also torn construction paper squares and put them inside of bubble letters which spelled out his name. (I took a photo but have no idea where it is.) I did most of the tearing as he still has a hard time with that. I just used my computer's word processing program and picked a font that looked like bubble letter.

Fall Fun

Last Saturday, we went to Martin's Hillside Orchard. We had a great time. Crisp fall air. Brilliant orange pumpkins. Crunchy gold corn stalks. Prickly raspberry brambles. Dozens and dozens of apple trees. A chuggy green tractor and hay rack. And best of entry fee! You only pay for the produce you pick. We picked about a bushel of apples, a pound of raspberries, and two pumpkins. I think it cost us $13. Kenson helped us pick the produce, rode on the tractor, went through the corn maze, climbed on the hay bale tower, went into the corn stalk tepee, and watched the cows in the pasture.

Here's a few of my favorite photos...

(Love this last one. It's dirt that he is so mesmorized with! Gotta love being three!)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Menu Planning Monday

Wonton Soup
Fruit Salad

Pork Roast with a Twist of Orange
Mashed potatoes
Mixed vegetables

Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza (Sauce of ketchup, mustard, and spaghetti sauce. Sauce + crumbled cooked bacon+ browned hamburger + onion + chopped dill pickles, all on pizza crust and topped with cheese)
Carrots and celery

Pasta with roasted tomato sauce
California blend

Chicken Tortilla Casserole
Green beans

Roast Beef (Slow cooker with a can of beef broth and lots of pepper)
Potatoes and carrots
Green beans

Roast beef hash (just like corned beef hash but with leftover roast beef)
Jello with fruit

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Book Reccomendation

I just finished a book that I would recommend to transracial families (and pretty much anyone) so I thought I'd share. The title is "The Color of Water: A black man's tribute to his white mother" and it's written by James McBride. Long story short, a white Jewish woman marries a black man in 1945, is disowned by her family, has 8 children, husband dies, remarries another black man, has 4 more children, all while living in a New York project. Great story of rising above poverty and your past as well as some good racial insights from a man who felt like he was neither white nor black. All 12 children earned college degrees and the mother in the story ended up going to college at age 65 and getting a master's degree. The writer's style is filled with humor and even though his life story is far removed from mine, he captures the commonalities so many of us share. Like being tormented by older siblings or having an older cratchety relative who drives crazy and tells it like it is. Definitely worth checking out.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

God and Me-Lessons from Sarah and Hagar

I'm not exactly sure what God's got in mind for me but you can be sure when a theme starts appearing throughout your week, that you should probably be paying attention.

This week, I read the story of Abraham and Sarah and Hagar. If you don't know the story, Abraham and Sarah are a childless married couple. God promises Abraham that his descendents will be as numerous as the stars in the sky. An odd promise to make a childless man. Especially since he and his wife were no spring chickens. The promise is given, time passes, and still no child. Sarah gets impatient. She frets and stews and then decides to ask her husband to sleep with her servant, Hagar, hoping Hagar will conceive. Hagar becomes pregnant, gives birth to a boy, and Sarah becomes jealous. So jealous she treats Hagar horribly and Hagar runs away. Eventually, Hagar returns with her son. Sarah and Abraham remain childless for another 11 years and then their son, Isaac, is born. God's promise is fulfilled despite Sarah's meddling.

I'm sure Sarah must have justified her actions a million different ways. "Maybe God meant that Abraham would have a child not me. If Hagar gets pregnant, that fits with that plan." "I'm awfully old. Maybe God wants me to find someone to carry a child for me." "I don't think that silly old husband of mine heard correctly. I bet he got the message all mixed up."

When it comes down to it, it's really Sarah doubting God's ability to do good in her life. It's meddling in the situation. It's manipulating events. It's working really hard so that you can help God accomplish His plans. And it doesn't sound so nice when you put it in those terms. Unfortunately, those are things I do often. I worry God isn't acting quickly enough. I worry God isn't seeing my hurting. I worry that God needs me to act but that I missed the memo and now have to make up for it. I read somewhere that God wants us to get where He wants us to go even more than we want to get there. He doesn't need me to be a back seat driver, trying to fix it. I needed to hear that reminder, that God will accomplish His plan without my involvement.

Hagar and Sarah popped up this week in another way too. Another adoptive mom, Christina, posted a reading about them on her blog. This reading focused on Hagar and her desire to run away from the situation Sarah has created, one where Hagar is treated unjustly. Hagar comes to terms with her situation and comes to view God in a new way, as El Roi, the God who sees me. That is one of the things I love most about the Lord: He cares deeply and intimately for each one of us. It was good for me to be reminded of God's personal nature, that He sees the minute details of my life. I've been feeling slighted and like we are a victim of injustice because of the situation with Conleigh's adoption. Injustice or not, my God sees it. He sees me and my hurt for my daughter. He sees it all. There is just something reassuring about knowing that HE SEES.