How Cute Are These?

I just ordered some barrettes off of etsy for stocking stuffers in Conleigh's Christmas stocking. They are seriously adorable. I shopped around for "clearance" items from different sellers and ended up paying $12 for everything, including the shipping. Might be a good place to look for some stocking stuffers of your own.

God and Me-Faith as a Possession

Praying has not been easy for me in the last six months. In fact, there have been times I've avoided it because I have felt slighted, as if God has turned a deaf ear to me. But even so, I've worked though that and have continued to pray, ending up with prayers that sometimes feel flat and repetitive. And today as I came to the task of my prayer time, the prayer part pressed me almost like a burden. It seems like my prayers have been lacking in spontaneous praise and in wide eyed adoration. It's not that I think every prayer needs that. It's just that I have not verbalized praise and adoration for a long time.

So I decided to write to the Lord about that, to come to Him with a heart that honestly has not felt up to a peppy or awe filled prayer life. And what I started with was the question, "Do my prayers reflect a love for You?" My answer somewhat surprised me.

Here's what I wrote: "I have loved You but in a way different than praise and adoration. It's been a holding on by a thread, clawing and scratching kind of love. Something deep seeded inside of me that I count too precious to let go of. But a love that is crossed with doubt and anxiety, that questions if You will give me what I need. And strangely enough, it's loving despite my doubt and anxiety that has made me grow. When we fight for what we love, we become so closely tied to that thing. And that truth includes our faith. I do not bring you a cherishing, eyes full of stars kind of love; instead I bring You a worn and battered, gnarled yet strong love, one that chooses to believe, that counts love and faith as a choice not a feeling."

Interestingly enough, this just ties so well with some words I read this week by Oswald Chambers. I'll leave you with those, believing that my daily walk, both the struggles and triumphs are just evidence of something deeply personal, of a faith that is a possession not an identity or a label.

"Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict. What is your faith up against just now? The test will either prove that your faith is right, or it will kill it. "Blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in Me." The final thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith."

God and Me-Small Acts of Provision

God has continued to remind me to leave behind my fretting and worries. I can't say life is making that any easier. D's truck is having transmission issues which means we are in the market for a new truck, not something I wanted to have to be doing. Conleigh's file is still stuck in the same place. Two people who had been stuck with us, for the same amount of time, recently got out of IBESR. Even though you're glad they are unstuck, when people "leave you behind", there's always a twinge of jealousy. If I thought it meant they were going in some kind of order and our file was getting closer to being released, I'd probably be more excited. But there is no rhyme and reason to it and it really means nothing for our file.

Those things said, in the grand scheme of life, we are generally unscathed. There are a lot of other people who are dealing with things I certainly wouldn't want to be.

And as I said, God is continuing to remind me of His faithfulness to us. A friend recently posted Roman 5:3-4 on her Facebook page, something I had read last week as well. "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope." I so appreciate God's sense of humor, timing, and divine way of putting things right in front of your face.

And in my own reading, I read from John 8:13. As translated by The Message paraphrase, from the words of the Jewish religious leaders as they tried to sort out if Jesus was the Son of God, "All we have is your word. We need more to go on than that." That was a good reminder for me. When you think about how your own action, doubt, and worry are a nonverbal version of "all I have is your word; I need more to go on than that" it leaves you thinking how empty that sounds. Especially when it's not just His words we are left with. God continually is at work in our lives and continually reveals Himself, often in small acts of provision as we live out our weeks. I often focus on the big things and don't take stock of those small acts of provision. But it is often those small acts of provision that demonstrate most how God is at work in our lives.

Menu Planning

Ham and Bean Soup, Fruit

Corn and Cheese Enchilladas, Avocado Salad

Chilli, Carrots and celery


Cincinati Style Chilli over Spaghetti, Green Beans


Chicken Cordon Bleu, California blend, lime jello with pears


Gingerbread Pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit

Crafty Pre-school Stuff-More leaves

Here's another good leaf project:

We started by cutting leaves into small pieces. (You could also crumble them. Mine were not quite dry enough to crumble.) I printed the leaf shapes onto colored paper as well as some scrapbooking paper; then I cut the leaf shapes out. We then used Elmer's glue and used the leaf pieces like glitter, pressing them lightly into the glue that had been applied to the paper leaves. Once the paper leaves had dried, we glued them on, collage style, onto another piece of paper.

I've also seen similar projects done using shavings from colored pencils and crayons.

Good Read

I'm just about finished reading He Talk Like a White Boy by Joseph C. Phillips. It's a collection of essays on faith, family, politics and authenticity. Phillips is most known for playing Bill Cosby's son-in-law on The Cosby Show. He writes from the perspective of a conservative, well educated black man in America. He is witty, sometimes irreverant, yet thoughtful. The theme of race is loosely woven into the book as he has had to address the way his blackness is juxtaposed with his conservative beliefs, his middle class upbringing, and even his speech pattern. Race is also explicitly addressed in several of the essays. (And take that word "essay" with a grain of salt. The essays, while intellectually powerful, read more like short stories. It's not heavy reading that will leave you feeling like a dunce because you have to get your dictionary for every other word.)
I picked the book out initially because I thought it might help me have a better view the challenges my black children will have as they will be Haitian Americans who are viewed as black African Americans while being raised in a conservative Caucasian household. Not only have I gained insight into the issues my kids will probably be confronted with, I also found myself enjoying the challenges Phillips issues to not just black Americans but to all Americans. Good read that I had not heard about until just a few weeks ago.

God and Me-The Provision of a Godly Word

This week, God has continued to speak the same message to my heart. He has continued to be steady and unwavering, pouring out provision in all sorts of forms.

On Sunday, Gregg preached from James 1:12. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. " He started by having three people share how they have endured in trials which allowed me to gain some perspective. There is something about seeing the lives of others that often reminds me that I don't want to trade my "junk" for someone else's.

Gregg also followed in Sunday school with Romans 5:3-4. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Then my friend, Lisa, emailed this very verse to me, not knowing Gregg had just used it as a connected text for his sermon.

This week, I also read from Don't Waste your Life by John Piper. He writes, "If we only trust Him to give us gifts and not Himself as the all-satisfying gift, then we do not trust Him in a way that honors Him as our treasure." That is important for me to hear because I often get frustrated when my obedience does not produce the results I desire, when it feels like God should fix my life just because I've been doing the right things. Indignation over the "injustice" of me not getting what I want does not honor God and does not show a deep appreciation for the ultimate gift God has given me, a redeemed life.

Piper also writes, "The health, wealth, and prosperity "gospel" swallows the beauty of Christ in the beauty of His gifts and turns the gifts into idols. The world is not impressed when Christians get rich and praise God. They are impressed when God is so satisfying we give our riches away for Christ's sake and count it gain." Again, something I needed to hear. I often turn my prayers into idols. As in, the thing that becomes most important for me is an answer to my prayer, specifically an answer in regards to Conleigh that would have her file progressing rather than sitting in static. It also was good to be reminded of how shallow it is to love God and serve God when things are going well. I don't want to be the person who loves God only when they get what they want from Him. I want to be the person who loves God because they get what they need from Him. As Piper says, "God, in love, will use whatever trials are necessary to intensify our savoring of His glory." He will use the circumstances of my life to teach me what I truly need, to cultivate in me a desire to glorify Him no matter to what, to bring me to a point of enjoying Him no matter what.

Praising God for His words of life to me this week...