Adoption Update-Conleigh

Someone posted a comment a while back about wondering where we were in process with Conleigh. We don't get monthly updates from her orphanage and generally, we're at the stage in her process where there isn't very much news. So we often don't have anything to say. We are in IBESR and have been since the end of September. That's four months in. I really have no idea of how long IBESR seems to be taking right now. It was 3-5 months a while back but someone on another site rumored that it might be more like 6 months. And there are people I know who've been in longer than a year. So who knows? But that's where we are...IBESR.

Here's some photos of that cutie from our latest trip...

Life Interupted

Last night, D got a call from his grandma saying that his grandpa died while at work. They have owned a gas station for nearly all of their married lives. His grandpa has worked the full service station by himself every day for much of that time. Yesterday, his grandma tried to call the station but couldn't get ahold of anyone. So she sent someone into town to check. When that man arrived at the station, he found another couple there. That couple had tried to purchase gas and when D's grandpa didn't come out to pump it, they went inside and found him slumped over the counter. His grandpa loved the filling station and was very proud to have built a business by himself. So it's very fitting that he should go, sitting in a place he was very found of.

On the other side of things, the whole thing stinks. Life often makes no sense and this is no exception. This is our family's third death of an immediate relative in a year's time. This is the third person in our lives who was anxiously looking forward to Kenson but never got to meet him. D's grandparents were a huge part of his childhood. His mom was an only living child so there are no aunts and uncles. D has one brother and his grandma left on his mom's side. My heart hurts for his grandma; I can't imagine her hurt. She has had a lot of loss in her life time as she has lost two children and now a husband. Her heart is pretty hard towards God, I think, and she doesn't have much opportunity for social interaction as she doesn't work and is not really involved in any clubs or church activities. Thankfully, a couple who were great family friends stopped by last night to be with her and spent the night. I pray more people will rally around her. I pray she will let some of her walls down and let people love on her. I pray we will be able to love her wholeheartedly, in real tangible ways.

Hits and Misses

Things Kenson loves:
-peanut butter
-ESPN (he loves to watch it on tv, maybe because of the balls?)
-having a clean face and hands
-Papa playing with him (and Mama too, but Papa's a lot sillier)
-cars of any kind
-pureed fruits like baby food pears and applesauce
-the screen savers on both our computers (We have them set to do photos and the both do photos of Kenson and Conleigh. I think we may intentionally leave our laptop on in the living room just because it will always have photos of Kenson with us on it. It's like having a book of photos, but better.)

Things he hates (or at least dislikes):
-ice (I showed him how the ice dispenser in our fridge works and gave him the smallest piece of crushed ice. You should have seen the face!)
-taking baths or showers (we're on day 4 or 5 of not bathing because he won't let me take his shirt off if he thinks he's going to get in and right now it's not worth the drama of making him do it)
-stuffed animals (He was terrified of the sock monkey and actually jumped when it fell on the floor towards him. He also cried at a teddy bear from my grandma and a lion puppet from my friend, Bev.)
-our dogs

HCH photos

If you're a HCH parent, here's a link to the photos we took last week. I'm sure we missed kids but I thought we got everyone.

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=kayder1996&target=ALBUM&id=5296077800117322033&authkey=q6dq4swCpVs&invite=CKLKhccP&feat=email

FHG photos

For all you For His Glory parents out there, here is the link to find the photos we took of the orphanage last week. We tried to get everyone but I know we missed kids. Everyone was eating lunch when we arrived. The big kids know are eating in the rooms that were built above the sleeping quarters. Having the big kids eat up there really made for a lot less traffic in and out of the main building. Some of the big kids were being really silly and acting like they didn't want their pictures taken. So if your kiddo has a goofy look on their face, that's why. The baby rooms were a bit hard as D followed me in and scared them all with his white man's face. So I know we didn't do a good job of getting photos in there because all the kids were screaming and crying. The toddler room was getting baths when D went in. It was still a crazy place but the nannies made all the kids sit down for pictures so it was a bit easier than it has been in the past to get photos.

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=kayder1996&target=ALBUM&id=5296415545267996257&authkey=GMC49QW8wsw&invite=CK_Pqq8G&feat=email

Let the joys begin as well

Lest you think our days at home have been marked only by crying, let me share with you some photos of the joys of adopting a toddler. Everything is new which is good but overwhelming. I think the newness must come in layers. The first time in a room you notice the walls and the lights. The second time you notice the sink and toliet and bathtub. The third time you notice the water in the sink and toliet and bathtub. The fourth time you notice that Mama can make the water come and go. The fifth time you want to try it. So you put your hand in it tentatively. Then you try to make the handles work. It's all amazing. And the best part is, it splashes!

And now real life begins...

Real life with a two and a half year old-hmmm, what words would describe that? Cracker crumbs and milk dribbles? Maybe stinky pants and sticky fingers? Or giggles and sheer amazement over simple things? Two year olds are their own animal regardless of how they come to your family. Kenson spent yesterday "adjusting". Lots of screaming and crying and tantruming. A lot of "I want Mama" behavior whiplashing into "Put me down!" A lot of "I really don't know what is wrong but everything is wrong."

So we decided to clear out the middle of the living room so that it was free from the coffee table and similar things so Kenson could have a tantrum spot that would be safe. I'm pretty sure he recognizes we will meet his needs. Previous trips with him plus his interaction with us in the last few days seem to indicate that. And you can only spend so long trying to soothe a mad toddler. After 1 1/2 hour screaming match this afternoon we decided we would just let him sit on the floor and scream.

The afternoon's main ordeal was over him wanting us to carry him around. He wanted to be held but only if we stood up. Not so fun with a 30+ kiddo. In reality, I suppose it's about control. "My life is out of control but I can control if Mama stands or sits." So on the floor he went, followed by the directions "Sheeta Mama" and "Sheeta Papa." (Sit Mama, sit Papa) We went about our business, ignoring the tantrum except for occasionally telling Kenson to sit with us. And he stopped after about 5 minutes of the new tactic. (Which had been preceded by the hour plus tantrum.) Hopefully, that will continue to work, especially as we deal with grief and anxiety emotions.