Bath Time

As futher proof that Zeke may or may not have undergone a complete transformation, he has twice today taken off his pants and wanted new ones from the suitcase.  Not only that, but he also took...drumroll please....a bath!  He wanted a new diaper and new pants so as I was changing him, I decided to try the bath bit.  We filled up the tub, then D got in and we put in our old water bottles that we've been using as toys.  I picked him up, handed him a bottle, and put him in.  He played and played and didn't want to get out.  Slow and steady wins the race or in this case, the heart.

Just Call Me a 2 Year Old Boy

Today and yesterday were full of progress.  Yesterday was even tear free, not one melt down or moment of being upset.  Zeke is coming out of his shell and is more talkative, more smiley, and has less hard edges when being held; he's actually starting to act like he enjoys our touch rather than simply tolerating it.  Our hotel room is starting to feel a bit cramped as he is starting to act like a normal two year old, to have a short attention span and to be into everything.  This morning after breakfast, I gave him a pen and paper to write with and found him with ink all over his arm, sitting in an empty box.  Looks like a 2 year old to me! 

Showing me his arm

And he's starting to sound like one too as he has been babbling and chattering constantly.

Safari Park, Guangzhou

Today we spent most of the morning at a local zoo.  It's actually called the Chimelong Safari Park and is owned by an entertainment company that has a water park and a circus in Guangzhou.  It was a very nice zoo with most animals in their natural habitats rather than cages or behind glass enclosures. We started the outing by doing their Safari on Wheels which is a trek through an open wilderness area on a tram.  You can also drive a car through as well.  There was a good variety of animals from reas to bears to giraffes to zebras to elephants, hippos, and gazelles.  (Plus a lot more.)  The remaining time we spent doing the walking trails through the zoo.  Most of the exhibits were set up so they were very close to walkways so you could really see the animals.  Many had keepers out and about interacting with the animals or had a feeding station so you could buy food for the animals.  When I talked to the kids back home this morning, they were a little shocked we were going to the zoo.  (Mostly because they were missing out, I think.)  So these photos are for them-enjoy the zoo!

 

 

Guess who decided the stroller was okay?

And guess who has decided he doesn't need his three "must have" toys?  They got covered up by a blanket last night so when we went out for supper, they just got left behind.  He wanted them when he went to bed but I stuck them in Derek's backpack once he fell asleep and he hasn't asked for them.  Derek also thought it would be a good idea to buy him a backpack so he could take his stuff with him.  Maybe that has helped him feel like he has his stuff with him.

 

Nakey Time

Subterfuge and trickery...all part of my M.O..  Zeke has had a lot of difficulty in letting go of the items that came with him.  His shoes, his jacket, his pants, and his toys have been constant companions.  Trying to take the clothing off while he is awake and you've got a melt down.  He's been sleeping in his shoes.  It feels a bit mean to do a complete switcheroo while he is sleeping.  It doesn't really seem to send the message "these people are okay and can be trusted." 

So I had tried to change his pants or his shirt every other day and left the rest alone.  However, his feet are starting to reek (from wearing the same shoes every day for 5 days straight with no breathing time?).  And his jacket is looking a bit, well, disgusting.  Days of rolling on the airport floor, chewing on the collar, and dribbing watermelon juice down the front are starting to take their toll.  Plus the jacket is hot.  Since he refuses to be in a carrier or stroller, we have been forced to carry him so it's not just hot for him, it's hot for us. 

To be sure, I have tried lots of things to get him to change his clothes.  Every morning, I've pulled out two shirts and two pants and asked him to choose one.  I've tried running the bath water and putting toys in it.  But he wanted nothing to do with those things.

So today I decided to be sneaky.  Zeke seems to have a pretty good sense of order.  He likes to use napkins and puts things into the garbage.  I decided to try the bath and toy thing again but this time, with a glint in my eye.  My plan?  Get him soaking wet in his clothes.   With a sippy cup, an empty bottle, a toothbrush and a plastic car, I set to work.  The two of us played a bit beside the tub.  Then I sat on the edge with my feet in.  Then I got in, completely clothed.  I asked him many times to join me but he didn't want to.  So I sat in the tub, used my bottled under the spigot to make a fountain, and played.  He giggled and laughed and had a good time splashing me.  And my fountain bubbled, and gurgled and sprayed everywhere.  Pretty soon, he was soaked.  I made one last attempt at getting him in the tub.  I turned the water off and told him he needed to get in if he wanted to play more.  (He has figured out the baby signs for more and all gone already.) 

After a bit of a sign discussion, he decided he was done.  Out he went to Derek and what did he immediately start doing?  Stripping down.

 Do you hear my evil laugh?   MWWAAHHHH!  

The smelly jacket and shoes were hidden away while I helped him finish getting undressed.  I got out a few clothing choices but he was uninterested so we just let him run around in a diaper figuring that at some point, he will get cold or we will leave and he will want to put clothes on because we are leaving.  Right now, as I type this, he has on new pants and new socks.  He actually had on new shoes at one point but took them off.  No interest in a shirt just yet.  And maybe the melt down will come when he realizes that his jacket is missing but we'll deal with that when it comes.

So enjoy the nakey time pics!  We're enjoying the fact that we've got a few more smiles and a few less smells.



Even headed back into the bathroom to put new toys in the tub; guess he'll have to try them out another time.



Success...taken an hour or so after I wrote this post!

MINE!

If you are familiar with two year olds, you know that they firmly believe that what's theirs is theirs, what's yours is theirs, and anything you have yet to see is also theirs.  For a two year old who has lost pretty much everything he has every known, the concept of mine becomes a bit of a battle cry. Who knows what might happen to those few precious pieces of your previous life?

 "Do not take my jacket off!  It is mine!" 

"Do not take my shoes off!  They are mine!" 

"Those few toys I brought from where I was living?  Mine!" 

"And no I do not want to wear or play with anything you have because it is not mine!" 

So yes, Zeke is sleeping in his shoes.  And yes, Zeke has been wearing his coat like a shirt day in and day out.  (Although somehow in these photos it is not on.)  And yes, he has some beloved toys that he refuses to let out of his sight. 

Qiun Ling Park and Monestary

Thursday we took in Quin Ling Park which butts right up to a Buddhist monestary.  Quin Ling Park is again probably not what most people think of when they think of China.  It features a lake with paddle boats and several small shops (all done in pagoda style architecture) and a winding road which leads up into the mountain.  The road is steep with trees and mountaineous terrain on either side.  Our guide had our driver drive us most of the way to the top and let us walk maybe an eighth of the way.  The eighth of the way was a lot of work; most of the Chinese people visiting the park walked the entire way and showed no signs of straining to do do.  What makes Quin Ling Park unique are its monkeys.  Wild monkeys live in the park and can be seen just about everywhere.

And yes, I did keep thinking this might turn into a scene from America's Funniest Home Videos where the monkey does something outrageous.  Our guide told us to leave anything extra in the car (water, our bags, food, etc.) to prevent one of those moments.  Later we found the monkeys camped out on someone's car.  The car they are sitting on had an antennea that the monkeys thought was pretty interesting but they did not break it as one might think.  Apparently there is a monkey park in Taiwan  where the monkeys have learned to throw rocks so visitors must wear a helmet.  (As relayed to us by our Chinese guide.)
 

 

Right next to the car is the monestary.  I'm not sure if monestary is the right word or if temple would be a better description.  We were not allowed to take pictures inside but inside were three separate rooms for three different Buddhas.  Each Buddha represented a branch of the religion, one developed in India, one that was old Buddhism and one that was newer.  There was also a fourth room set aside for a Buddhist goddess.  (Not sure if she actually was considered a Buddha or not.)  The goddess is considered the goddess of mercy and believers pray to her to fulfill their wishes especially regarding fertility (but for anything one desires).  There were many Chinese people inside lighting incense and kneeling on the cushions in front of each Buddha.  I tried to get a feel for how often people might come here, like if the people we saw were sightseeing or frequent worshippers.  What I was told was that most people in China only come to a place like this occasionally and often only if they are wanting to ask for help with something.  He said there are more devout followers but that this does not represent China as a whole. 

 

I could not help but wonder how many people worshipping there had even heard the name of Jesus.  I fully realize that many people would cast Christianity in the same light, as a superstition, people praying to an imaginary God or people desparate for favor from a God.  But I think what sets Christianity apart from Buddhism (and so many other religions) is grace. 

 

A central theme to Buddhism is the idea of enlightenment, of doing enough good things (good works, meditation, sacrifice, etc.) to become a better person so that the gods will look on you with favor and move you forward on the path of enlightment.  Each person lives over and over again, repeating the cycle of living, dying, and suffering; if you are lucky enough to have won favor, your next life will be closer to an enlightened one. 

 

 For me, it's the sadness of a never ending cycle where you are always wondering if you were good enough.  While I know there are many Christians who struggle with the same idea of measuring up, that struggle is not a Biblical one.  The love of God which compelled Him to send his son as the ransoming hero is a once and done thing. 

 

Once for all. 

No condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. 

His grace is sufficient. 

Jesus, friend of sinners. 

 

Wall just inside the monestary, features dragons bathing a Buddha

 

Before we headed back to the hotel, we stopped at the base of the park for a chance to walk around on a plaza.  A lake framed by mountains was on one side while some small shops were on the other.

I have no idea what was actually in the building on the other side.  The architecture is interesting.  Guiyang is a very large city so we have not seen all there is to see but we have seen very little traditional Chinese architecture. 

While we were on the plaza, we saw some pigeons.  We've used an Android app called Sound Touch as something to entertain Zeke.  Because of that, we knew he really likes animals, especially birds.  (Sound Touch has pictures of all sorts of things from animals to household objects to vehicles.  So one page will show all animals.  If you touch the picture of a cat, it will bring up another picture of the cat, say the name, and make the animal sound.  In our case, we set it to say the names of the items in Mandarin.  Zeke has liked it and has especially been fond of the bird pictures.)  We have seen him try to whistle like a bird by puckering up his lips so I thought I'd try to get him to do that while we looked at the pigeons.  Of course, if I was trying to capture it, he wouldn't do it.  The minute I put the camera down, then he be making his funny little bird sounds.  I think I finally managed to get it.  However, the sound is drowned out...too bad.  It's kind of a slurping little noise; you can definitely see his lips moving.  (And ignore the blue tinged lips, a blue sucker is to blame.)

We also visited the Wax Printing Cultural Museum in Guiyang.  It's not very big but it houses a nice display of ancient Chinese history and minority group cultural artifacts (masks, jewelry, and clothing).  China is a country populated by many different people groups.  Often, we as Americans, think all Chinese are the same but they are not.  That is one of the reasons Chinese history is the way it is.  For hundreds of years, China was an area full of different ethnic groups ruled by different warlords (for lack of a better term).  Each little area of China was a faction with each own customs and distinct facial features.  Often these groups disliked each other and fought wars with each other land, livestock, etc..  When Chiang Kai Chek came into power in the 20th century, he managed to create a loose confederation of Chinese states and he tried to unify China under a central government.  General Mao continued this and the centralized government has grown and gained strength so that the divisions between the different ethnic groups are not as strong.  Specific groups no longer live soley in one area but there are still pockets of minorities.  While in China, you will see some Chinese who look very similar to Native Americans or the Guatemalan students I see back home.  Others look traditionally Chinese (Han). 

Given that Guizhou is home to many minority groups, we assumed Zeke is probably not Han Chinese.  We actually asked but were told he was Han.  After reading more at the museum and thinking a bit, I am wondering if he is Buoyei or Zhaung.  There's no real way to tell (other than maybe genetic testing) but those are two of the largest minority groups in Anshun.  Zeke is also a big kid, very long torso that makes him tall.  He easily fits into 2T clothes as a 27 month old which is really not normal for many of the Chinese babies who are adopted.  I don't know if that is a real indicator of being a minority or not but it's worth asking.  Yao Ming (who for some reason reminds me a bit of Zeke in facial features) is has some Zhaung in his bloodline.  Anyway, I'm glad we visited.  It also had a very nice gift shop.

Catching Cats

If I had to describe what it's like to spend your first few weeks with a toddler who is soon to be in your family forever, I think I'd say it's like catching cats.  See, I grew up on a farm where farm cats were half pets, half wild.  Because they lived outside and were useful as mousers and just basic companionship, they were not pampered and often quickly lived their nine lives.  Wild animals, the highway, and a cat's personal decision making regarding where to make his permanent home meant that the farm cats kind of just came and went.  So many times, they were never really tamed.  Would they tolerate people?  Sure, because people meant food.  But they were not cuddly.  And if on the off chance one decided to weave itself between your legs, back arched, tail waving in a surpising show of affection, you could be sure such behavior was on the cat's terms.  Reaching down to further the affection might send the cat hightailing or be met with a quick swipe of a paw.  To really catch such a cat, to get it to set on your lap and to allow you to pet it, maybe even getting it to respond with a purr, required patience.  It meant crouching low to get on the cat's level.  It mean sitting and not moving, too fast of a move was sure to send the cat running.  It meant changing your position, from a tall loud human to a smaller, quiet being. 

And toddler adoption is a lot like that.  Your first few days or weeks together are about patience and time, about small steps towards a child, and a quiet calm voice.  It's about not moving too fast lest the child bolts, about not being too forceful about things that really don't matter.  It's about a small shift in your position that recognizes which hills you want to die on when it comes to compelling a child into action.  The child wants more watermelon despite having eaten what you think is an appropriate amount?  You say yes where you might normally have said no.  The child is pushing away your gentle touch?  You comply with his request and instead look for another opportunity to offer affection.  The child wants only you?  Or only your spouse?  You take it for what it is and don't force the interaction.  The child refuses to change his clothes?  Or take a bath?  Or eat?  You let it go, reminding yourself that stinky clothes, a dirty body, and a hungry belly are not quite as awful as they sound.

Catchining cats, I tell you, it's just like catching cats.