Pink fire truck cakes and other birthday business

We celebrated Kenson's 4th birthday a bit early so that we could celebrate with our extended family. I am really not a big gift giver. I take that back...I love giving gifts. I hate "having" to give a gift. I would much rather prefer to give someone something they really want or a non tangible thing they will enjoy. And I'd much rather do it just because I want to not because it's their birthday, Christmas, etc.. And I really don't want my kids to become gift junkies who only anticipate holidays because of the gifts.

That said, D and I decided we would borrow a tradition from a family we know. They let their kids have 3 wishes on their birthdays, not necessarily 3 gifts. I really like the idea because it encourages kids to share what they'd really like and often times, it doesn't even make them think about gifts. With Kenson, if we would have let him, his 3 wishes would have been a pink fire truck cake, eating at Grandma and Grandpa's and candles. We figured the candles kind of went with the cake so we asked him to pick something else which became the wish of a guitar.

So pink fire truck cake it was...don't ask me where that came from! And we ate supper at Grandma and Grandpa's with Uncle Jared, Uncle Tim, Aunt Sheree, Brenna, Quinn, Alissa and Grandma 2. D and I got him a guitar and he got a few other goodies too. (Coloring books, sidewalk chalk, a bowling game, Toy Story dominoes, a farm set, a slip and slide and some money to use on buying some outside play equipment. We have played with every thing now and love the farm set, dominoes, and slip and slide. The other gifts we like, but we really do LOVE the ones I just mentioned.)

Great series on adoption

A few weeks ago, the Livesay family posted a series of posts on adoption. It was just a nice section of thoughts on adoption from a variety of places. I had intended to link to their "truths about adoption" series but forgot. And then someone asked me some adoption related questions tonight and jogged my memory. So here's a group of great posts for anyone thinking about adoption, who has adopted, or who is just trying to get a better handle on what adoption really feels like on a lot of levels.

Adoptee's view

Adoption and Race

Real life in the adoption world

To adopt or not

Adoption as loss

Rodeos, Tortillas, and Some Minor Butt Scratching

We've had a whirlwind last few days...

Rodeoing at Mason City with Uncle Jared as the announcer

Celebrating Kenson's birthday a few days early

Going to Uncle Jared's house and checking out the horses

I decided to work really hard to remember the best phrases from moments throughout our trip.

The ones to make the cut are:

Don't rub your tortilla on your shirt.

Take your braid out of your nose.

and....

Get your hands out of your pants. If you have an itch, scratch it from the outside.

(And yes my brain is not really sure that I should have said those words.)

While you're contemplating which family member that last one was about, enjoy a few photos of our experience with Jared's horses.

If cleanliness is next to Godliness..

then, man, am I in trouble!

I have struggled this summer with keeping upon housework. I'm just not a great housekeeper and for some reason, it seems worse this summer.

I don't know whether it's the addition of a certain three year old or the addition of a certain husband but the laundry and dishes are always heaped up.

I usually am really good about the "handle papers only once rule" but again, I just seem to find paperwork piles laying around. (I try hard to immediately file, through, etc. any papers that enter the door, if you're wondering what rule I'm talking about.)

The dog hair just seems to have a mind of its own and right now, I think it's laughing at me. Vacuuming seems to be a futile effort.

I used to think "at least there isn't a funky smell" but after seeing a current commercial that asserts "80% of people can't smell the odors in their own homes" I'm feeling a little concerned.

I suppose it's mostly the clutter that is really the issue. I've got crafty stuff out. And a couple piles of books that I've been wanting to read. D's still got some left over soccer items that haven't quite found their homes. Plus the usual stuff like a bucket full of underwear and socks that I managed to turn a dingy gray after washing them with a rag rug. So now I'm trying to bleach them back to white. The kids? Well, on any given day, who knows what they have out? For some reason today we had to get all of our winter clothing out. At least the clothing they could find. I think it all started because Kenson uncovered a pair of cowboy boots and to borrow a line from a story, if you give a child a pair of cowboy boots it will remind the other child that she has no cowboy boots but she does have snow boots, which she'll want to drag out. And if she drags out her snow boots, she's going to need a fur lined bomber hat to keep her head warm. If you let her wear the hat, her arms will get awfully cold in the 90 degree weather so she'll start digging through the baskets, looking for her coat. And chances are, if she finds her coat...

I guess the housekeeping thing is one thing that kind of surprises me about women. For some reason, women are very reluctant to be real with each other regarding the state of their homes. In other words, we really don't like unexpected guests because of our laundry piled on the table or our floor that happens to have a couple Cheerios shoved into one corner. (I wish it were only a couple of Cheerios on my floor.) Why we are so sensitive about this, I just don't know. Generally speaking, there are a lot more women with imperfect homes with the level of cleanliness ranging from slightly messy to a lot more than slightly messy. Dishes, laundry, clutter-all houses have it and it's usually not tucked neatly away.

One thing I've come to appreciate are a few friends who have always welcomed me into their homes despite their home not being immaculate. Sometimes, their house wasn't anywhere even close to even sort of clean. I think having friends who were willing not pay attention to the flawless house myth has made it easier for me to authentically share my house with others who happen to pop in or even those whom I was expecting. I also read somewhere that when we hurry to clean our homes because of a guest, it usually creates high stress situations within our families. That those high stress situations really are sending an important message to our kids, that our life is not okay the way it is so we'd better hurry and get things straightened up before so-and-so sees it. It discourages authenticity and instead fosters a belief that we must present ourselves perfect or that we must show others at least in some semblence of what is acceptable in order for those people to like us.

So today as you consider your house and the never ending tasks that go with the blessing of having a house, remember that cleanliness is not next to Godliness despite your Aunt Mabel's adament stance. Instead count your home as a gift from God, something He has entrusted you with, not simply so you could keep up appearances but so you could love on others by inviting them and sharing your life with them.

Just to clarify

Regarding my wishes in a previous post for disposable underwear....

Yes, I now realize they do make them. (Thank you friends for reminding me.)

No, I did not think of what I was really wishing for while I was waxing away, wistfully dreaming of a a smaller laundry pile.

And no, we will not be making the change to adult diapers anytime in the near future.

Little Disciples

A good read to start your morning...get your mom mind headed in a positive, godly direction

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: When Conleigh came home, she flew to the U.S. with 2 other kiddos from Haiti Children's Home. One of those kids was a little girl, Julie, who is about 6 months younger than Conleigh. Julie and Conleigh have spent much of their lives together at the orphanage and Conleigh grieved Julie's friendship for months after coming home. Julie's family was headed through our neck of the woods on their way to visit relatives in Canada and they got to eat lunch at our house on their way by. The kids played great with no fighting. Even Julie's older siblings were generous and played well with the three much younger kiddos. We got a chance to visit with other adoptive parents. It was just such a blessing to have them stop.

The Bad: Since the Fourth of July, we've just been in kind of crazy mode. We spent the 4th-the 7th at my folks'. Then D and I came home while the kids stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's. We were actually only home one day and then we headed out to our marriage enrichment weekend. We got home on Sunday at 11 and then hosted soccer boys for lunch. We spent part of Monday picking up the kids and then every night that week doing VBS. My laundry situation is B-A-D. So is the dish situation. I've already decided that next summer we will be converting to disposable plates, cups, and silverware. I just can't keep up when we are all home all day and I cook two meals a day. (Well I could but that would mean hand washing....the horrors!) As far as laundry goes, too bad there's not disposable underwear...

The Ugly: Vacation Bible School...just that should explain a lot. Our church does an evening program from 6-8:15 every night for a week. It's fun but knowing now what I know, I probably wouldn't have had my kids do it. My kids had an amazing time but I found myself wondering why I making them go every night. While I don't doubt God uses all sorts of things, I just found myself feeling like I was making them go because I felt like they needed to go out of obligation. The reality is they're three and being out until 9 every night for a whole week with minimal benefit was something we could have lived with out. We're still dealing with some ugly cranky behaviors. (And the kids are having problems too.)

and...

The Unusual: I got my hair cut today. It's short. Really short. No pictures, sorry. You'll just have to see me in person.