Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Twilight Zone

I don't know if any other adoptive parents have experienced this but I swear there are sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in an out of body experience. Sometimes, it feels like I have to physically remind myself that I have really committed to adopt my children. There are days when they just don't feel very real. I don't mean that in a bad way, just in a "pinch me because I think I'm dreaming" way. It's easy for me to feel like I've forgotten the simpleness of their faces or the unique parts of them that were designed by God to be a part of only them. Even though we have pictures around our house, there are times when I stop and feel like I need to remind myself exactly what they look like, down to the smallest detail. I have especially felt this way about Conleigh. Perhaps that's because we don't get pictures of her every month like we do of Kenson. Or maybe because we've spent less time with her. I don't know. Anyway, my screen saver has always been set to a slide show of photos which were mostly Kenson with a few of Conleigh's sprinkled in. It was that way because until June we only had a handful of pictures of Conleigh. So now that we have more photos I took time yesterday to redirect the screen saver so it pulls up all of the new pictures we have of Conleigh plus any photos we have of Kenson. I think that has really helped my brain feel like it has started to memorize her features, to know her through pictures. So just because she's so stinking beautiful here's a few of the photos that are now rolling across my computer when it's in screen saver mode.

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