What's Worked for Us-Food

I believed that we would have some food issues due to differences in textures and tastes as well as the availability of food. Kenson has never not had food but it has always been on a schedule and, I'm guessing, always a specific amount given to all children, regardless of if they were still hungry, if they liked it, etc.. So adjusting to having the meal schedule changed up a bit as well as being able to communicate if he was done or if he would like more were challenges.

When we first came home, Kenson had a hard time at the end of the meal. He would have finished the food that was there, an ample amount of food, but then cry and be mad when we tried to tell him he was done or if we tried to wash his hands or take him out of the booster seat. He wanted the meal to continue. He wasn't really hungry as when you gave him more he would just play with it. Or if he did eat it, he would eat a huge amount of food. I think in some ways he wasn't sure of our food schedule and this was creating anxiety in him as to when/if he would get another meal.

Adoption literature tells you to let the food be readily available to newly adopted children. (ie leave snacks out on the counter, let children carry a backpack for food) I agree with this in theory. But for a toddler, this is a bit harder to do. Plus, I wasn't really sure that Kenson's issues had to do with a deep seeded fear of starvation. My first desire was for him to learn that screaming and crying was not an acceptable way to get what you want. So we taught him baby signs for more, drink, and eat. This has helped him tell us his needs. It also gives us something to replace the crying with. We weren't just stuck telling him "no crying"; instead we could tell him what to do that was positive. He does great with the signs.

I also think the signs helped with the attachment aspect of things because he has learned that he can do the signs and then Mama or Papa meet the need. When he first figured out that we would get whatever he was signing, he loved to just do it over and over again. He would hand us the sippy cup, and do the sign. Then he would get a drink and give us back the sippy cup so that he could sign "drink" again.

The other thing we did was to give him a small snack at the end of the meal if he wanted more. If I continued to feed him the main entre, we would be sitting at the table for hours. So I put a few Cheerios in a baggie and let him carry those around. He didn't want to eat them; I think he just wanted the security of the having the food. I only did a few pieces of cereal (like 5 or 6) because I didn't want to reinforce overeating. It was enough to help him. He's now eating at meals like a normal kiddo without crying when his plate is empty. He is able to tell us he's finished or sign for more. And depending on what he ate, we give him more or we tell him no that he is finished. And he seems to be okay with that. I also think he now recognizes that we eat on a schedule and that he now knows when to expect food.