First week or so...

Attachment
Conleigh has made huge strides in allowing her Mama to nurture her. She still loves D and often prefers him but she doesn't throw a fit every single time she can't be with him. We got groceries today and used two carts. I started to push the one with her in it, she fussed and pointed at D, we said no, and she was fine and didn't ask again. She has started giving kisses occasionally to both of us. And a few nights ago she was falling asleep next to D and rubbing his hand and head. Very sweet.

We're doing diapers again even though she probably was potty trained. It eliminates worrying about potty accidents and makes life less stressful for us and her. She is only 6 months older than Kenson was when he came home but she is much more independent. We allow her to feed herself but sneak in a couple of "let us help you moments" with each meal. She will take a sippy cup like a bottle, sort of. So we try sneaking in some cuddle time like that too. She is doing good with eye contact, unless she's mad. We're a very touchy feely family so all the tickling games, kissing games, peek-a-boo games, etc. we normally do are all part of the attachment process.

Sleeping
Due to our furnace issues, we've all been sleeping in Conleigh's room. Our original plan was for D and I to sleep on a mattress on the floor and Conleigh in her bed next to us. But now that Kenson is sleeping in there, he's sleeping in her bed and she's sleeping on the mattress with us. The last couple of nights, we have left the two of them in the room alone together and let them fall asleep. She's done okay with that. D said last night he heard Kenson saying, "No, no, no! Get back in bed! Mama and Papa are not going to like that!" When he went in, she was halfway to the door. He just put her back in bed and checked in a few minutes and she was just about out so no real problems. I'm hoping we are able to easily move her back to her bed and us into our bedroom. We tried putting Kenson on the mattress with us and her in her bed last night but it was an uncomfortable night for those of us on the mattress. Kenson is so much bigger and he whined most of the night about being squished. (Nevermind that he had the middle section and D and I were the ones hanging onto the edges.)

Discipline
She's also getting better about being disciplined. It's hard to discipline kids who are newly home. And it's hard when they are 2 or 3 and don't quite have a brain that's developed the ability to reason. But she is starting to realize that no means no and that tantruming won't change it. She's also realizing that disobedience means a trip to the stairs or sitting in a chair or sitting with Mama or Papa. Asking her when she's disobeying if she wants to sit on the stairs usually results in a "no" and the behavior stopping. She's so much more of a "normal" two/three year old than Kenson ever was. He is just such a compliant laid back child; he rarely got into stuff he wasn't supposed to and rarely continued disobedience if he was told no.

Kenson
Having two three year olds is a bit of a challenge. And with our furnace issues, we've spent our fair share of time in the living room where the space heaters are. My patience has not been what it should be. Two three year olds, whiney or tantruming children, no heat, probably some extra woman hormones...I've been a bit crabby and short tempered. He is really trying to work out how all of this works and has been full of tears often. He gets frustrated that she wants to play with ALL of his stuff. He gets frustrated that he can't just take what he wants when she has it. (Our verse this week is "love does not envy" and we've been talking about how love doesn't want what someone else has. He totally looks at me everytime we talk about it like I've got horns coming out of my head. I might as well be telling him that his pants are made out of bubble gum; it is just mind boggling to him.) He worries that what Conleigh is doing is better than what he is doing so he copies her. He has to be involved in every thing that is going on because he is scared he will miss something. He just has to work through how to be a brother. It's a lot different than just being a friend. Friends go home.

He did spend a week with my mom and dad while we were figuring out how and when to pick up Conleigh. And he did marvelous! A little teary on the first night when my mom tucked him but no anxiety after that. And when he talked about it after we were all back togther at home, he said something about how he knew he'd get to come back to our house after he stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's. Having Conleigh home has really given me a chance to contrast a working on attachment child with a pretty secure in my attachment child. He is of course not perfect and there will be moments all throughout his life where he will wonder about his adoption roots but in general, he really is getting how he is in our family forever.

The furnace
Let me also add that we have had multiple requests from multiple people who have offered to let us stay at their house until we have heat again. If I didn't have two three years it would make picking up and spending a few days somewhere else easier. But most of all if I didn't have a three year old who just became part of our family, it would make the decision to stay somewhere else much easier as well. So don't think we're too proud to take some help; it's just Conleigh really needs to be home, in a routine with just us.