Adjustment

Obviously, with Conleigh home, our family is in a period of adjustment. Adjustment is not always easy, even when you were expecting it, longing for it, or have experienced similar things.


Conleigh is really doing well. Whenever she is scared or overwhelmed she immediately retreats to D and really pulls back into herself, like a turtle pulling back into its shell. We met my folks and brother in G.I. Friday for supper and she wouldn't let D put her in the high chair or let me feed her so he had to hold her the entire time and feed her. She of course wouldn't look at anyone other than D. But as soon as we left Perkins, she was chattering away and happy as a clam. She has gotten much better about coming to me and, when we are at home, really isn't showing much of a preference between D and I.


Kenson is struggling. He is a crying mess. A lot. I really think he is missing our normal routine and the one on one time that he usually spent with me. He also has been chewing on his fingers and saying his teeth hurt so perhaps he has some molars coming in and that is complicating things. He cries about every other hour while he's awake. It's usually about a toy...but it's never really about a toy...if that makes any sense. Usually the tears are short lived but they are often. Way more than normal. God has really convicted me to pray for his heart about this, not to just pray for his mood to improve but to seek out the inner confusion in his heart and pray specifically for whatever that inner confusion is. (If I have time, I'll share more on this later.)


D and I are finding that we are tired. A lot. We're still sleeping in Conleigh's room but are hoping to move ourselves down the hall to our room this weekend. She has woken up in the middle of the night the last few nights so someone has had to get up with her but she goes right back to sleep. Kenson has been awake around 6 or 6:30 most mornings but with two of us home, one of us can take the kids who usually both wake up once Kenson comes in while the other one sleeps in a bit. But we're still tired. D has a lot on his plate as he has report cards due in a few weeks plus soccer starting. Next week has a lot of late nights for him due to meetings, etc.. He's feeling stressed by that. Plus noise stresses him a bit and, well, our house isn't exactly quiet. (I know, he's an elementary teacher. How can noise bother him? Three year old noise is different than elementary noise, that's the deal.) I think really he is just ready to be back to work. Spending all day, every day with two three year olds, one of whom is crying a lot is wearing on him. He has next week off and then he'll be back on schedule.


I am also finding that I am crabby. A lot. I have been very guilty of impatience and harsh words. Not so much yelling or even mean words, just words that were spoken with a tone of impatience and were not gentle. So the last few days I have really been praying about my tone, that it would reflect the long suffering ways of the Lord and not the impatience and selfishness of men. Having one three year old who tantrums and tears up about every little thing wears on me. Having another one who is not sure of what boundaries exist and is learning that "no" really means "no" wears on me. Working on establishing a routine wears on me. Having to work on getting on the same page as my husband in regards to our new life wears on me. (We're almost always on the same page so when we're not, it really bugs me.) It just leaves me short tempered. So I'll keep praying.


So that's the truth about where we are adjustment wise. Really in a lot of ways, it's where we expected to be. In many ways, God has been giving me some very good thoughts on prayer which seem to be so timely. When you are in times of adjustment, there is a temptation to focus on what YOU can do to change things. And in times of adjustment, it's really important to remember that we have very little power to actually change hearts both those of our children and spouses. We also can't just assume that we can will our own hearts to change and be "better" or to make ourselves deal with the changes in our lives in a certain way. God has been reminding me of my need for His presence in my life, that He is the catalyst for change including the change that happens in our hearts when the rest of our lives are in the middle of transition.