God and Me-Lessons from Sarah and Hagar

I'm not exactly sure what God's got in mind for me but you can be sure when a theme starts appearing throughout your week, that you should probably be paying attention.

This week, I read the story of Abraham and Sarah and Hagar. If you don't know the story, Abraham and Sarah are a childless married couple. God promises Abraham that his descendents will be as numerous as the stars in the sky. An odd promise to make a childless man. Especially since he and his wife were no spring chickens. The promise is given, time passes, and still no child. Sarah gets impatient. She frets and stews and then decides to ask her husband to sleep with her servant, Hagar, hoping Hagar will conceive. Hagar becomes pregnant, gives birth to a boy, and Sarah becomes jealous. So jealous she treats Hagar horribly and Hagar runs away. Eventually, Hagar returns with her son. Sarah and Abraham remain childless for another 11 years and then their son, Isaac, is born. God's promise is fulfilled despite Sarah's meddling.

I'm sure Sarah must have justified her actions a million different ways. "Maybe God meant that Abraham would have a child not me. If Hagar gets pregnant, that fits with that plan." "I'm awfully old. Maybe God wants me to find someone to carry a child for me." "I don't think that silly old husband of mine heard correctly. I bet he got the message all mixed up."

When it comes down to it, it's really Sarah doubting God's ability to do good in her life. It's meddling in the situation. It's manipulating events. It's working really hard so that you can help God accomplish His plans. And it doesn't sound so nice when you put it in those terms. Unfortunately, those are things I do often. I worry God isn't acting quickly enough. I worry God isn't seeing my hurting. I worry that God needs me to act but that I missed the memo and now have to make up for it. I read somewhere that God wants us to get where He wants us to go even more than we want to get there. He doesn't need me to be a back seat driver, trying to fix it. I needed to hear that reminder, that God will accomplish His plan without my involvement.

Hagar and Sarah popped up this week in another way too. Another adoptive mom, Christina, posted a reading about them on her blog. This reading focused on Hagar and her desire to run away from the situation Sarah has created, one where Hagar is treated unjustly. Hagar comes to terms with her situation and comes to view God in a new way, as El Roi, the God who sees me. That is one of the things I love most about the Lord: He cares deeply and intimately for each one of us. It was good for me to be reminded of God's personal nature, that He sees the minute details of my life. I've been feeling slighted and like we are a victim of injustice because of the situation with Conleigh's adoption. Injustice or not, my God sees it. He sees me and my hurt for my daughter. He sees it all. There is just something reassuring about knowing that HE SEES.