God and Me-Yielded vs. Pursuing

Last week, I wrote about having a vision for 2011.  (That sounds a little weird.  Know I'm not talking about psychic Miss Cleo type vision.)   I wrote about a spirit of yieldness versus a resolve to do improve things, start new habits,  etc.. 

I still like the word yieldedness but after church on Sunday and a little Crazy Love reading, I think I have some words I like better.  Kirk preached on Sunday on the idea of transformation.  His premise was that resolution is one thing but transformation is another.  God does not desire for us to simply resolve to do better.  He is not the cosmic grandfather who has a doormat that states "What Happens at Grandpa's Stays at Grandpa's".   We can not continue our behavior that dishonors Him, and expect that He will simply look the other way because His love for us runs deeply.  At the same time, the idea of being resolute enough to change our own behavior and make us more acceptable in God's eye is not accurate either.  God is not your high school English teacher who was impressed by your ability to properly puncutate sentence and spell without a dictionary.  And unlike English class, editing your life and turning in only the best version of you does not impact Him either.  He loves us because He made us not because we are able to do certain things well. 

Transformation differs from both of those ideas.  It does not require that God execuses our behavior nor does it require that we improve our behavior.  Instead, it takes our very being and changes it into something new.  Think seeds planted in black dirt that must burst out of their germ in order to sprout and blossom.  Think caterpillar in a cocoon, undergoing a change that will completely destroy the worm-like shape in order to create a butterfly.  Think a messy life that lives only for itself emerging as a life that is still messy by lives for a purpose greater than self.  That is transformation.  "For if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has gone, the new has come."  (1 Cor. 5:17)  

Yieldedness seems to fall under the umbrella of transformation.  I want yieldedness because it seems to represent a transformed life but at times that seems unwieldly and tends towards the legalistic.  Even the task of being yielded become a goal to accomplish, something to strive for so that I might take my performance to the Lord, asking for His approval over my life.  While I certainly want Him to be pleased, I also have come to recognize how, for me (an overachiever who loves the feeling of a job well done, especially when somone else has noticed just how well done it is), that I dimminish what God has done for me by trying to prop up my abilities at His feet.  As I lay my hard work at His feet, I stand there like a little girl, eagerly awaiting for Him to tell me how pleased He is with my efforts. 

Which leads me to another word:  pursuing.   I read Francis Chan this week and he writes, "As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him."  (Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God)  Pursuing.  What if our new year was a year dedicated to pursuing the God who made us?  Wouldn't that take care of every bit of resolving to do better, of wanting to be yielded, of needing to be transformed?  And what if it wasn't just a 2011 thing?  What if the core of our being decided every day to pursue Him like mad?  That's where I want to live.  Pursuing God.