The Fellowship of Motherhood

Since starting life as a mom about 18 months ago, one of the things I've come to realize is that women, specifically Christian women, can easily let themselves become divided from each other.  Women feel alone, left out, not good enough, and inferior because of wedges that Satan is able to place in between sisters.  Instead of feeling loved and accepted, women feel put down, discouraged, or confused.  To me, it seems like part of that is due the way God created women.  We are generally more relational than men, seeking to find connections between ourselves and others.  We are more apt to fret, over analyze, and worry.  And our disposition as the more verbal of the two genders puts us in the position to share too much, criticize too freely, and judge too loudly.  But I also believe that it's not just about our female dispositions.  It's about Satan seeing an opportunity to gain a foothold.  I have been encouraged of late to do some writing about fellowship among women.  Fellowship not just as in a "let's go to church together" or "come over to my house for supper" but fellowship that is similar to that of the early church, specifically that set forth in Acts 2. 

42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.

Can you imagine what the Church as a body would be like if women dedicated themselves to Biblical fellowship?  If women shared with other women what God was doing in their own lives.  If women taught and mentored each other.  If women prayed consistently for other women, real prayers based on real needs and weaknesses.  If women shared not just hand me down clothing but whatever resources they had.  If women approached each other with joyful yet authentic hearts that were all about bringing honor to God.

One of the things that has saddened me is watching women isolate themselves from each other because of the choices they make.  As a mom you make a crazy amount of decisions, each one based on what you believe is best for your family.  Unfortunately, our human nature recognizes that the opposite of best is worst and that if one choice is best, the other choice must be less than great.  It results in women competing with each other, even if they don't realize it.  It pits homeschooling moms against public schooling families.  It pits working moms against stay at home moms.  It pits calm moms against frazzled moms.  Competition is isolating.  It encourages women to band together with like minded friends, to form a "team" of other women who are equally "good" because of a choice they've made.  I don't think it's quite as calculated as that all sounds.  I think it is a very casual, subtle thing where women find comfort in walking alongside others who share similar beliefs.   Or that it shows up in snippets of conversation when moms bristle at certain topics and immediately feel the need to defend their lives.  Or it is present when moms find themselves awash in guilt, believing that if only they did x, y, and z like so and so, then their lives would be better.

So, I'm going to tackle some of the things that divide women, specifically moms.  Some of the topics are controversial.  Some involve very personal choices.  But all of them represent opportunities for women to honestly come alongside each other and support each other in fellowship.