The Fellowship of Motherhood & Homeschooling...

My kids started preschool on Monday.  As I write that, I'm not sure I like the sound of that.  It sounds like they are big kids instead of an itty bitty three year old and an itty bitty four year old.  To be honest, I suppose I have some trouble writing the whole preschool bit.  It kind of represents a committment in my heart to head in one direction with choices regarding school.

For the longest time, I wasn't sure if they were going to go to preschool.  Couple that with my plans for returning to substitute teaching in the fall and the child care plans for that was not just easily falling into place-there was a lot of conversation about whether perhaps this was God shoving me in the direction of homeschooling.   Preschool through our school which would have been free was not an option.  One of the houses we were really interested in purchasing had a great room that would have been a great homeschool room.  And I have some concerns about my kids doing the reading program that the school district uses, especially in grades 1 and 2.  All in all, doing a homeschool preschool seemed pretty appealing.  And it might have lead to the decision to homeschool past the preschool age. 

But then things changed.  We started looking at larger daycare settings for our kids.  And the solution we currently have our kids enrolled in actually feels like a really good fit for our family.  But it still makes it weird to write that my kids are going to preschool.

One of the things that God has laid on my heart through my adventures in motherhood is the need for women as a whole to put aside labels and personal choices in order to be unified as God seekers.  Schooling is one of those hot button issues that has a tendancy to make people bristle and feel the need to staunchly defend their choice.  I recently read a very thoughtful post on homeschooling.  I'd encourage you to read it and the comments by other who also read the post as they provide many different opinions in a respectful way.  As I read the post, I looked at the key reasons behind the blogger's desire to homeschool and realized they represented things I desire for my kids, but things that I didn't feel like had to be accomplished in only a homeschool setting.  In other words, I walked away thinking "Yes, that's my goal for my kids too but I don't feel like I have to homeschool to accomplish it."  It solidified the choices we were making regarding preschool.  And it also reminded me that homeschooling families and non homeschooling families often want the same things for their kids.

Like the blogger, we want Christ to be the center of our home.  For us, this means parenting our kids with the goal of teaching them to be God seekers.  It means saying "Good morning God!" each morning.  It means spend time alone with God, learning His stories, His words, and His character.  It means offering up praise at a meal or bringing our concerns over owies.  It means believing that God has given us all we need for Godly living within His word and establishing a foundation for our behaviors based in this.  And it means chosing to worship God corporately through small groups, church, and Sunday school.

Like the blogger, we want to be the primary influences in our childeren's lives.  Obviously, those who spend the most time with your child wield a fair amount of influence over your child.  But we believe that by choosing to simplify our lives, we can value the time we spend with our kids.  We also believe that being an influence in your child's life isn't always about the quanitity of time you spend with them, but that it is also about being purposeful in the time you do have with them so that you are having meaningful conversations and interactions.

Like the blogger, we want to cultivate strong family relationships.  Again, it goes back to being purposeful.  Siblings start out thick as thieves.  Then they get older, develop other relationships and interests, and slowly start to change their views of each other.  As parents, regardless of our schooling choices, we can encourage relationships with siblings and amongst other family members by shared experiences and by encouraging family members to notice the unique qualities that make each person a valuable asset to the family.  It means sharing games and trips.  It means sharing books and learning opportunties.  It means spending the time to teach our kids to appreciate the unique traits, likes, and dislikes that our family has.  All of that requires deliberate purposeful conversations and activities.

Like the blogger said, we want to encourage our kids to love learning.  I know some feel that public schools kill the love of learning because the curriculum is established by the school/state rather than the likes of an invidual student.  I understand that thought.  But to be honest, a love of learning is not just limited to the topics you are interested in.  Sometimes when someone "makes" you study a particular topic, you discover an interest you didn't know you had.  And it's also not just limited to "school learning."  In other words, if I am sending my child to a public school, I can certainly encourage them to love topics that the school is not necessarily teaching.  Craft activities, 4-H, Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, church projects, helping kids select library books, noticing things your child shows an interest in and encouraging this interest-all very doable at home.  And that doesn't even cover the ways you as a parent can support a classroom teacher by working alongside your child or that teacher.

Like the blogger said, we want our schooling choices to provide us with the freedom to do Kingdom work.  I'm going to expand this a bit to say that one of the major appeals of homeschooling is the flexibility of scheduling, not just to do Kingdom work.  I will be the first to admit that when I see families who have decided to homeschool and then get to do amazing family trips as part of their homeschooling experience, I am insanely jealous.  Families who attempt cross country RV trips.  Families who get to jet off for several days for a field trip to a historic site like Washington DC or Gettysburg.  Families who spend several weeks on the beach doing nature studies.  It all leaves me drooling a bit.  But then I quickly realize that this freedom is only doable if both spouses have the ability to take such trips.  And that this freedom also depends heavily on your financial situation.  Or course, flexibility isn't just limited to grand adventures.  It is about being able to take time off to minister together, to actively pursue the Gospel.  Again, it's purposefulness.  If we are puruposeful in not just leaving the Gospel at the church doors, there are multiple opportunities to love others and share the Gospel.  We live next door to a crochety old man who I swear looks just like the little old guy in the movie UP.  His wife is in a nursing home after living for many years at home with MS.  He is grouchy and often angry with a lot of people.  But for some reason, he loves my kids.  What a ministry as we share garden produce or a few baked goodies.  When my kids started preschool on Monday, we took a gift to their teacher, Miss Jill.  A gift they helped make...a meal... because I know as a former classroom teacher how hectic your first week of school is.  That's ministry.  And here's the other kicker, my kids will have multiple ministry opportunities in public school that they would not have if they were homeschooled.  (Just like a homeschooled child would have different ministry opportunities than a child who goes to public schools.)  It is about believing that God is at work in both places and desiring to look for opportunities to serve Him in whatever situation you are in.

So know that regardless of your family's choice, to homeschool or do a public or private school setting, I believe God can and will work in your family.  That's the great thing about our God.  He doesn't fit into a box and He certainly delights in showing up in all sorts of weird places, in ways we'd never expect.  There is no need to bristle, no need to defend your educational choices.  God is the defender and it is His spirit alone that convicts.  We don't have to convince anyone that our choice was right or that our choice is the best for our family.  And there certainly isn't a need to judge based on what someone has decided.  If we chooes to judge, then in effect aren't we judging the plan God has for their family? 

Instead, homeschooling and non homeschooling famlies should look for opportunities to encourage and support each other in the choices they've made.  Homeschooling families certainly have a lot more flexibility of schedule.  What would happen if they offered to provide childcare for a public school family on the days that the school has off but are still a work day for Mom and Dad?  Public school families possibly have more connections for resources simply because so many things go through the school system.  How easy it would be to share with a homeschooling family information about upcoming events and how easy it would be to go to those events together?   What about a homeschooling family intentionally providing a meal for a public school family for the first week of school, knowing that a new schedule can be hectic?  Or vice versa.  What if a public school family gifted a homeschool family with a goodie basket full of new school supplies because homeschooling involves expensive curriculum and it might be nice to not have to purchase everything out of your own pocket?  I'm sure the possibilities for connection and community are endless.  How might you step out and encourage another mom in the area of school choice?