We are still waiting to hear that Kenson's passport has been printed. Not that I'm counting or anything but we were released from MOI 32 days ago. And almost every one of those 32 days has been a struggle for me. My patience for this process has run out. I am quite weary of it. My emotions have been all over the place for 3 out of 4 weeks. I've done a lot better over the last 10 days but like I was telling D today, it seems like every day is a battle to keep my emotions in check.
I do believe the last week or so has been better because God has been convicting me of my actions and thoughts, that God has been telling me how I'm turning Kenson's passport into a god of sorts because I'm spending all my time thinking about it. And I have tried to replace those passport based thoughts with thoughts of God's character. (Which in "churchy" terms is meditating on God.) I do believe that has helped. God has reminded me lots of His faithfulness and His trustworthiness.
I also read a verse this week from Jeremiah 50:6 "My people have gone from mountain to hill; they have forgotten their resting place." God has been convicting me of forgetting my resting place and instead inserting the god of a passport. But even though I've been convicted of this, it is still a battle. It is a battle for my thoughts, for my worries, for my fretting. It is a battle for short tempered responses versus long suffering, a battle for peace versus stress, a battle for trust versus impatience.
4 comments:
I hope it is printed soon. For some reason I thought it was printed a day or two after MOI.
First time I adopted from Haiti it was six months start to finish but I don't think half the steps existed.
I also thought passport printing was a quick deal, like a couple of weeks max. So I think that's why this is doing me in. I really thought the last part (passports and visas) would be quick and painless. Not so...
God has also been dealing with me about making this whole adoption process a god. I belong to an adoption online support group of parents adopting from our O. I find myself wanting to be online constantly to check on progress - my own and others. It can truly consume your thoughts if you allow it.
Thanks for sharing your scripture.
I can really relate to all of the feelings you just described. Praying you get passport news soon. We have always heard 7-14 days to print the passport once you're out of MOI. I think there are delays because they ran out of passport books and then they had to play catch up once they came in. I bet you get the news any day now! Keep us posted!
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