Parenting is hard. Parenting an adopted child, especially one who is newly home is a bit more than hard. One of the tricky parts is figuring out what the root of the behavior is. Is it related to adoption or trauma and grief? Is it just normal behavior for that age? Is it just normal behavior for your child and his/her specific personality? And because that personality is still emerging, even knowing that is a challenge. It's also tricky because generally speaking kids who come from orphanage care are going to have some delays. That can include emotional and social delays meaning that while the child is a specific age, like 3, they may have a tendancy to act in ways that mimic the normal reactions of a much younger child. And as an adoptive parent, you have to accept where they are while helping them grow and "catch up."
One of our biggest struggles with our newly home girl is related to behavior and sleep. It is a terribly vicious cycle, one where lack of sleep means nightmarish behavior the next day. Her personality is naturally strong willed and independent. She is highly verbal and out to make her view point known. And she is terribly disobedient when she is tired. Last night was a prime example. After supper, she asked me for some watermelon that I was cutting. I told her she could not have any more because she didn't eat all of her supper. Less than 30 seconds later, I find her sneaking watermelon off the counter. (Two nos...disobeying a direction and sneaking food which is an issue of trust) Blatant disobedience is one of those things that pushes my buttons so I sent her to the living room to sit in the chair while I talked with D about a consequence. She immediately ran away from the chair, despite a reminder of where I asked her to sit. When I picked her up and made her sit with me in the chair, a loud tantrum erupted because she was being made to sit down. 3 major discipline problems/deliberate disobedient acts in about 3 minutes. There are times when you feel like you are in discipline mode ALL DAY LONG.
That's kind of where we've been living right now. I'm not sure where it's coming from. My best guess is because the start of school has changed things up and that change is scary for her. Most change in her life has been negative. It's scary in that it's full of uncertainty. New people, new places-it's scary for a lot of kids. Doubly scary when you have faced new people and new places in the ways she has. As a tiny infant separated from the Mama who gave her life. As a not quite year old baby whose foster family had to return her to the orphanage because of a crisis in their lives. As a 3 year old girlie who was handed to complete strangers in the middle of the night, separated from her friends, and placed into our arms the next morning without seeing a familiar face. That's my best guess. So maybe we'll move around to balancing that disobdience with plenty of grace, repeating truths to her like "New places and friends can be both scary and fun." "You seem to be disobeying Mama a lot, almost like you're mad at her. Being mad at her won't change her being your Mama forever." "It can be confusing to have new things going on. Guess what things always will stay the same? Your Mama and Papa and Kenson will always love you and always be here." Now if I could just remember that instead of getting angry and frustrated...isnt't that the story of every parent?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
The Fellowship of Motherhood & Homeschooling...
My kids started preschool on Monday. As I write that, I'm not sure I like the sound of that. It sounds like they are big kids instead of an itty bitty three year old and an itty bitty four year old. To be honest, I suppose I have some trouble writing the whole preschool bit. It kind of represents a committment in my heart to head in one direction with choices regarding school.
For the longest time, I wasn't sure if they were going to go to preschool. Couple that with my plans for returning to substitute teaching in the fall and the child care plans for that was not just easily falling into place-there was a lot of conversation about whether perhaps this was God shoving me in the direction of homeschooling. Preschool through our school which would have been free was not an option. One of the houses we were really interested in purchasing had a great room that would have been a great homeschool room. And I have some concerns about my kids doing the reading program that the school district uses, especially in grades 1 and 2. All in all, doing a homeschool preschool seemed pretty appealing. And it might have lead to the decision to homeschool past the preschool age.
But then things changed. We started looking at larger daycare settings for our kids. And the solution we currently have our kids enrolled in actually feels like a really good fit for our family. But it still makes it weird to write that my kids are going to preschool.
One of the things that God has laid on my heart through my adventures in motherhood is the need for women as a whole to put aside labels and personal choices in order to be unified as God seekers. Schooling is one of those hot button issues that has a tendancy to make people bristle and feel the need to staunchly defend their choice. I recently read a very thoughtful post on homeschooling. I'd encourage you to read it and the comments by other who also read the post as they provide many different opinions in a respectful way. As I read the post, I looked at the key reasons behind the blogger's desire to homeschool and realized they represented things I desire for my kids, but things that I didn't feel like had to be accomplished in only a homeschool setting. In other words, I walked away thinking "Yes, that's my goal for my kids too but I don't feel like I have to homeschool to accomplish it." It solidified the choices we were making regarding preschool. And it also reminded me that homeschooling families and non homeschooling families often want the same things for their kids.
Like the blogger, we want Christ to be the center of our home. For us, this means parenting our kids with the goal of teaching them to be God seekers. It means saying "Good morning God!" each morning. It means spend time alone with God, learning His stories, His words, and His character. It means offering up praise at a meal or bringing our concerns over owies. It means believing that God has given us all we need for Godly living within His word and establishing a foundation for our behaviors based in this. And it means chosing to worship God corporately through small groups, church, and Sunday school.
Like the blogger, we want to be the primary influences in our childeren's lives. Obviously, those who spend the most time with your child wield a fair amount of influence over your child. But we believe that by choosing to simplify our lives, we can value the time we spend with our kids. We also believe that being an influence in your child's life isn't always about the quanitity of time you spend with them, but that it is also about being purposeful in the time you do have with them so that you are having meaningful conversations and interactions.
Like the blogger, we want to cultivate strong family relationships. Again, it goes back to being purposeful. Siblings start out thick as thieves. Then they get older, develop other relationships and interests, and slowly start to change their views of each other. As parents, regardless of our schooling choices, we can encourage relationships with siblings and amongst other family members by shared experiences and by encouraging family members to notice the unique qualities that make each person a valuable asset to the family. It means sharing games and trips. It means sharing books and learning opportunties. It means spending the time to teach our kids to appreciate the unique traits, likes, and dislikes that our family has. All of that requires deliberate purposeful conversations and activities.
Like the blogger said, we want to encourage our kids to love learning. I know some feel that public schools kill the love of learning because the curriculum is established by the school/state rather than the likes of an invidual student. I understand that thought. But to be honest, a love of learning is not just limited to the topics you are interested in. Sometimes when someone "makes" you study a particular topic, you discover an interest you didn't know you had. And it's also not just limited to "school learning." In other words, if I am sending my child to a public school, I can certainly encourage them to love topics that the school is not necessarily teaching. Craft activities, 4-H, Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, church projects, helping kids select library books, noticing things your child shows an interest in and encouraging this interest-all very doable at home. And that doesn't even cover the ways you as a parent can support a classroom teacher by working alongside your child or that teacher.
Like the blogger said, we want our schooling choices to provide us with the freedom to do Kingdom work. I'm going to expand this a bit to say that one of the major appeals of homeschooling is the flexibility of scheduling, not just to do Kingdom work. I will be the first to admit that when I see families who have decided to homeschool and then get to do amazing family trips as part of their homeschooling experience, I am insanely jealous. Families who attempt cross country RV trips. Families who get to jet off for several days for a field trip to a historic site like Washington DC or Gettysburg. Families who spend several weeks on the beach doing nature studies. It all leaves me drooling a bit. But then I quickly realize that this freedom is only doable if both spouses have the ability to take such trips. And that this freedom also depends heavily on your financial situation. Or course, flexibility isn't just limited to grand adventures. It is about being able to take time off to minister together, to actively pursue the Gospel. Again, it's purposefulness. If we are puruposeful in not just leaving the Gospel at the church doors, there are multiple opportunities to love others and share the Gospel. We live next door to a crochety old man who I swear looks just like the little old guy in the movie UP. His wife is in a nursing home after living for many years at home with MS. He is grouchy and often angry with a lot of people. But for some reason, he loves my kids. What a ministry as we share garden produce or a few baked goodies. When my kids started preschool on Monday, we took a gift to their teacher, Miss Jill. A gift they helped make...a meal... because I know as a former classroom teacher how hectic your first week of school is. That's ministry. And here's the other kicker, my kids will have multiple ministry opportunities in public school that they would not have if they were homeschooled. (Just like a homeschooled child would have different ministry opportunities than a child who goes to public schools.) It is about believing that God is at work in both places and desiring to look for opportunities to serve Him in whatever situation you are in.
So know that regardless of your family's choice, to homeschool or do a public or private school setting, I believe God can and will work in your family. That's the great thing about our God. He doesn't fit into a box and He certainly delights in showing up in all sorts of weird places, in ways we'd never expect. There is no need to bristle, no need to defend your educational choices. God is the defender and it is His spirit alone that convicts. We don't have to convince anyone that our choice was right or that our choice is the best for our family. And there certainly isn't a need to judge based on what someone has decided. If we chooes to judge, then in effect aren't we judging the plan God has for their family?
Instead, homeschooling and non homeschooling famlies should look for opportunities to encourage and support each other in the choices they've made. Homeschooling families certainly have a lot more flexibility of schedule. What would happen if they offered to provide childcare for a public school family on the days that the school has off but are still a work day for Mom and Dad? Public school families possibly have more connections for resources simply because so many things go through the school system. How easy it would be to share with a homeschooling family information about upcoming events and how easy it would be to go to those events together? What about a homeschooling family intentionally providing a meal for a public school family for the first week of school, knowing that a new schedule can be hectic? Or vice versa. What if a public school family gifted a homeschool family with a goodie basket full of new school supplies because homeschooling involves expensive curriculum and it might be nice to not have to purchase everything out of your own pocket? I'm sure the possibilities for connection and community are endless. How might you step out and encourage another mom in the area of school choice?
For the longest time, I wasn't sure if they were going to go to preschool. Couple that with my plans for returning to substitute teaching in the fall and the child care plans for that was not just easily falling into place-there was a lot of conversation about whether perhaps this was God shoving me in the direction of homeschooling. Preschool through our school which would have been free was not an option. One of the houses we were really interested in purchasing had a great room that would have been a great homeschool room. And I have some concerns about my kids doing the reading program that the school district uses, especially in grades 1 and 2. All in all, doing a homeschool preschool seemed pretty appealing. And it might have lead to the decision to homeschool past the preschool age.
But then things changed. We started looking at larger daycare settings for our kids. And the solution we currently have our kids enrolled in actually feels like a really good fit for our family. But it still makes it weird to write that my kids are going to preschool.
One of the things that God has laid on my heart through my adventures in motherhood is the need for women as a whole to put aside labels and personal choices in order to be unified as God seekers. Schooling is one of those hot button issues that has a tendancy to make people bristle and feel the need to staunchly defend their choice. I recently read a very thoughtful post on homeschooling. I'd encourage you to read it and the comments by other who also read the post as they provide many different opinions in a respectful way. As I read the post, I looked at the key reasons behind the blogger's desire to homeschool and realized they represented things I desire for my kids, but things that I didn't feel like had to be accomplished in only a homeschool setting. In other words, I walked away thinking "Yes, that's my goal for my kids too but I don't feel like I have to homeschool to accomplish it." It solidified the choices we were making regarding preschool. And it also reminded me that homeschooling families and non homeschooling families often want the same things for their kids.
Like the blogger, we want Christ to be the center of our home. For us, this means parenting our kids with the goal of teaching them to be God seekers. It means saying "Good morning God!" each morning. It means spend time alone with God, learning His stories, His words, and His character. It means offering up praise at a meal or bringing our concerns over owies. It means believing that God has given us all we need for Godly living within His word and establishing a foundation for our behaviors based in this. And it means chosing to worship God corporately through small groups, church, and Sunday school.
Like the blogger, we want to be the primary influences in our childeren's lives. Obviously, those who spend the most time with your child wield a fair amount of influence over your child. But we believe that by choosing to simplify our lives, we can value the time we spend with our kids. We also believe that being an influence in your child's life isn't always about the quanitity of time you spend with them, but that it is also about being purposeful in the time you do have with them so that you are having meaningful conversations and interactions.
Like the blogger, we want to cultivate strong family relationships. Again, it goes back to being purposeful. Siblings start out thick as thieves. Then they get older, develop other relationships and interests, and slowly start to change their views of each other. As parents, regardless of our schooling choices, we can encourage relationships with siblings and amongst other family members by shared experiences and by encouraging family members to notice the unique qualities that make each person a valuable asset to the family. It means sharing games and trips. It means sharing books and learning opportunties. It means spending the time to teach our kids to appreciate the unique traits, likes, and dislikes that our family has. All of that requires deliberate purposeful conversations and activities.
Like the blogger said, we want to encourage our kids to love learning. I know some feel that public schools kill the love of learning because the curriculum is established by the school/state rather than the likes of an invidual student. I understand that thought. But to be honest, a love of learning is not just limited to the topics you are interested in. Sometimes when someone "makes" you study a particular topic, you discover an interest you didn't know you had. And it's also not just limited to "school learning." In other words, if I am sending my child to a public school, I can certainly encourage them to love topics that the school is not necessarily teaching. Craft activities, 4-H, Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, church projects, helping kids select library books, noticing things your child shows an interest in and encouraging this interest-all very doable at home. And that doesn't even cover the ways you as a parent can support a classroom teacher by working alongside your child or that teacher.
Like the blogger said, we want our schooling choices to provide us with the freedom to do Kingdom work. I'm going to expand this a bit to say that one of the major appeals of homeschooling is the flexibility of scheduling, not just to do Kingdom work. I will be the first to admit that when I see families who have decided to homeschool and then get to do amazing family trips as part of their homeschooling experience, I am insanely jealous. Families who attempt cross country RV trips. Families who get to jet off for several days for a field trip to a historic site like Washington DC or Gettysburg. Families who spend several weeks on the beach doing nature studies. It all leaves me drooling a bit. But then I quickly realize that this freedom is only doable if both spouses have the ability to take such trips. And that this freedom also depends heavily on your financial situation. Or course, flexibility isn't just limited to grand adventures. It is about being able to take time off to minister together, to actively pursue the Gospel. Again, it's purposefulness. If we are puruposeful in not just leaving the Gospel at the church doors, there are multiple opportunities to love others and share the Gospel. We live next door to a crochety old man who I swear looks just like the little old guy in the movie UP. His wife is in a nursing home after living for many years at home with MS. He is grouchy and often angry with a lot of people. But for some reason, he loves my kids. What a ministry as we share garden produce or a few baked goodies. When my kids started preschool on Monday, we took a gift to their teacher, Miss Jill. A gift they helped make...a meal... because I know as a former classroom teacher how hectic your first week of school is. That's ministry. And here's the other kicker, my kids will have multiple ministry opportunities in public school that they would not have if they were homeschooled. (Just like a homeschooled child would have different ministry opportunities than a child who goes to public schools.) It is about believing that God is at work in both places and desiring to look for opportunities to serve Him in whatever situation you are in.
So know that regardless of your family's choice, to homeschool or do a public or private school setting, I believe God can and will work in your family. That's the great thing about our God. He doesn't fit into a box and He certainly delights in showing up in all sorts of weird places, in ways we'd never expect. There is no need to bristle, no need to defend your educational choices. God is the defender and it is His spirit alone that convicts. We don't have to convince anyone that our choice was right or that our choice is the best for our family. And there certainly isn't a need to judge based on what someone has decided. If we chooes to judge, then in effect aren't we judging the plan God has for their family?
Instead, homeschooling and non homeschooling famlies should look for opportunities to encourage and support each other in the choices they've made. Homeschooling families certainly have a lot more flexibility of schedule. What would happen if they offered to provide childcare for a public school family on the days that the school has off but are still a work day for Mom and Dad? Public school families possibly have more connections for resources simply because so many things go through the school system. How easy it would be to share with a homeschooling family information about upcoming events and how easy it would be to go to those events together? What about a homeschooling family intentionally providing a meal for a public school family for the first week of school, knowing that a new schedule can be hectic? Or vice versa. What if a public school family gifted a homeschool family with a goodie basket full of new school supplies because homeschooling involves expensive curriculum and it might be nice to not have to purchase everything out of your own pocket? I'm sure the possibilities for connection and community are endless. How might you step out and encourage another mom in the area of school choice?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Fellowship of Motherhood
Since starting life as a mom about 18 months ago, one of the things I've come to realize is that women, specifically Christian women, can easily let themselves become divided from each other. Women feel alone, left out, not good enough, and inferior because of wedges that Satan is able to place in between sisters. Instead of feeling loved and accepted, women feel put down, discouraged, or confused. To me, it seems like part of that is due the way God created women. We are generally more relational than men, seeking to find connections between ourselves and others. We are more apt to fret, over analyze, and worry. And our disposition as the more verbal of the two genders puts us in the position to share too much, criticize too freely, and judge too loudly. But I also believe that it's not just about our female dispositions. It's about Satan seeing an opportunity to gain a foothold. I have been encouraged of late to do some writing about fellowship among women. Fellowship not just as in a "let's go to church together" or "come over to my house for supper" but fellowship that is similar to that of the early church, specifically that set forth in Acts 2.
42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.
Can you imagine what the Church as a body would be like if women dedicated themselves to Biblical fellowship? If women shared with other women what God was doing in their own lives. If women taught and mentored each other. If women prayed consistently for other women, real prayers based on real needs and weaknesses. If women shared not just hand me down clothing but whatever resources they had. If women approached each other with joyful yet authentic hearts that were all about bringing honor to God.
One of the things that has saddened me is watching women isolate themselves from each other because of the choices they make. As a mom you make a crazy amount of decisions, each one based on what you believe is best for your family. Unfortunately, our human nature recognizes that the opposite of best is worst and that if one choice is best, the other choice must be less than great. It results in women competing with each other, even if they don't realize it. It pits homeschooling moms against public schooling families. It pits working moms against stay at home moms. It pits calm moms against frazzled moms. Competition is isolating. It encourages women to band together with like minded friends, to form a "team" of other women who are equally "good" because of a choice they've made. I don't think it's quite as calculated as that all sounds. I think it is a very casual, subtle thing where women find comfort in walking alongside others who share similar beliefs. Or that it shows up in snippets of conversation when moms bristle at certain topics and immediately feel the need to defend their lives. Or it is present when moms find themselves awash in guilt, believing that if only they did x, y, and z like so and so, then their lives would be better.
So, I'm going to tackle some of the things that divide women, specifically moms. Some of the topics are controversial. Some involve very personal choices. But all of them represent opportunities for women to honestly come alongside each other and support each other in fellowship.
42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.
Can you imagine what the Church as a body would be like if women dedicated themselves to Biblical fellowship? If women shared with other women what God was doing in their own lives. If women taught and mentored each other. If women prayed consistently for other women, real prayers based on real needs and weaknesses. If women shared not just hand me down clothing but whatever resources they had. If women approached each other with joyful yet authentic hearts that were all about bringing honor to God.
One of the things that has saddened me is watching women isolate themselves from each other because of the choices they make. As a mom you make a crazy amount of decisions, each one based on what you believe is best for your family. Unfortunately, our human nature recognizes that the opposite of best is worst and that if one choice is best, the other choice must be less than great. It results in women competing with each other, even if they don't realize it. It pits homeschooling moms against public schooling families. It pits working moms against stay at home moms. It pits calm moms against frazzled moms. Competition is isolating. It encourages women to band together with like minded friends, to form a "team" of other women who are equally "good" because of a choice they've made. I don't think it's quite as calculated as that all sounds. I think it is a very casual, subtle thing where women find comfort in walking alongside others who share similar beliefs. Or that it shows up in snippets of conversation when moms bristle at certain topics and immediately feel the need to defend their lives. Or it is present when moms find themselves awash in guilt, believing that if only they did x, y, and z like so and so, then their lives would be better.
So, I'm going to tackle some of the things that divide women, specifically moms. Some of the topics are controversial. Some involve very personal choices. But all of them represent opportunities for women to honestly come alongside each other and support each other in fellowship.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Some funny tidbits from the week
Apparently it's been a good week for that...
*When I asked Kenson what he wanted for supper tonight, he quickly told me "kitty cat." Hmmmm.... I think he's on a big kick about animals being sources of food ie cows are hamburger, chicken is chicken, pigs are bacon but the kitty cat bit is just too funny.
*Kenson told us that they prayed at lunch today at preschool...and then started singing the little song they sing about your hands to get ready for lunch. Open shut them, open shut them, give a little clap. Open shut them, open shut them, put them in your lap." I guess that's sort of like a prayer.
*Conleigh apparently got a bug bite on her finger the other day. She kept itching and itching. Finally she looked at me and begged, "Cut it off!" That fits perfectly with our earlier conversation regarding getting one's eyes poked. She said to me "it get broken?" to which I replied "ye...s". She then asked "get a new one?" and looked quite puzzled when I told her you only get two eyes.
*From Kenson, "I didn't bite; I was just pinching with my teeth."
* And...as I was straightening out Kenson's hair and removing the dog hair that finds its way into it "I have goat hair in there." Hmmm, I promise he has not been sleeping with goats...
On a just awesome note, he counted to 13 tonight all by himself (and pointed using one to one correspondance for all you education folks) then skipped around to 16 then 15. Pretty good for a kiddo who knew no English 18 months ago! It's so fun to watch those little brains learn.
*When I asked Kenson what he wanted for supper tonight, he quickly told me "kitty cat." Hmmmm.... I think he's on a big kick about animals being sources of food ie cows are hamburger, chicken is chicken, pigs are bacon but the kitty cat bit is just too funny.
*Kenson told us that they prayed at lunch today at preschool...and then started singing the little song they sing about your hands to get ready for lunch. Open shut them, open shut them, give a little clap. Open shut them, open shut them, put them in your lap." I guess that's sort of like a prayer.
*Conleigh apparently got a bug bite on her finger the other day. She kept itching and itching. Finally she looked at me and begged, "Cut it off!" That fits perfectly with our earlier conversation regarding getting one's eyes poked. She said to me "it get broken?" to which I replied "ye...s". She then asked "get a new one?" and looked quite puzzled when I told her you only get two eyes.
*From Kenson, "I didn't bite; I was just pinching with my teeth."
* And...as I was straightening out Kenson's hair and removing the dog hair that finds its way into it "I have goat hair in there." Hmmm, I promise he has not been sleeping with goats...
On a just awesome note, he counted to 13 tonight all by himself (and pointed using one to one correspondance for all you education folks) then skipped around to 16 then 15. Pretty good for a kiddo who knew no English 18 months ago! It's so fun to watch those little brains learn.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to preschool we go!
In a somewhat unrelated but really actually connected vein, our minister preached his last sermon with us a week ago Sunday. Our church is now in a time of transition as Gregg and his family pursue a church plant and our church will host an interim pastor until a full time senior minister is hired. Gregg's final message to our church body was full of encouragement, exholting us to press on in God's work. He preached from Ephesians 3 which includes the following prayer, a prayer he prayed for our church while as its senior pastor and as we transition to a new minister.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
It is chock full of the things we want for other believers...and chock full of things I desire for my kids. After Gregg's sermon, I decided this would be my prayer for my kids as they headed to preschool. On the mornings that I drop them off, I hope it will be some of the last words I say to them as they start their day. On the mornings where I stay home while they leave, it provides a great time to meditate on how this prayer can be personally tuned to their little lives. So today, I pray that they are both strengthened with His power, that all fear or anxiety is eliminated by His power. I pray that Christ will dwell in their hearts, that they will be rooted and established in His love, showing His love and a simple Christlike faith as much as a 4 year old and 3 year old can. I rpay that they would constantly be aware of the love of Christ, having a right sense of self that comes from believing you are loved by the Creator of the world and His son. And I pray that they will be filled to the measure with the fullness of God, that they would both learn to be full of the fruits of His Spirit like love, gentleness, and patience.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Tomorrow
Kenson and Conleigh are starting preschool tomorrow. Even though it's just preschool and only for three mornings a week, it represents their first break from our insulated cocoon. (And on days I substitute, it will be an all day break.) All of our play dates and experiences have been in a setting mainly controlled by us. Preschool represents a loss of control over a lot of things. I won't be able to really monitor their peer relationships. I will have to trust that they act appropriately towards their teacher, both in terms of authority and in terms of affection and boundaries. Preschool (or at least some school experience) will probably start the wheels turning in my kids' heads regarding having a white mom and dad while they are black. Perhaps preschool will be one of the first places they experience comments made about their race.
I have one who is "not worried, just excited." I have another who is worried. She is worried she will miss her mama. But praise the Lord, she is not worried if Mama or Papa is coming back! (At least she's not admitting to that.) Both of them are excited to get to take their backpacks. We just bought Conleigh's a few days ago and since Papa wasn't there, the first thing she said when I told her we were getting a backpack was "We need to show Papa!"
Can't wait to hear their comments about the day once I pick them up tomorrow!
I have one who is "not worried, just excited." I have another who is worried. She is worried she will miss her mama. But praise the Lord, she is not worried if Mama or Papa is coming back! (At least she's not admitting to that.) Both of them are excited to get to take their backpacks. We just bought Conleigh's a few days ago and since Papa wasn't there, the first thing she said when I told her we were getting a backpack was "We need to show Papa!"
Can't wait to hear their comments about the day once I pick them up tomorrow!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Heading off a melt-down
And now I will demonstrate how to head off a melt down...
Me: Conleigh, go put your shoes on.
Conleigh: I want three.
Me (slightly puzzled): Only people with shoes on get to go outside.
Conleigh (a little more urgent): I want three.
Me (distracted, wondering if she means she can't find her shoes): Do you know where to look? They are right by the chair on the porch.
Conleigh (starting to escalate and now using her fingers): 1, 2, 3. I want three!
Me: Are you wanting three shoes? 3 pink shoes?
Conleigh: Uh huh.
Me: Well you only have two pink shoes. They don't make shoes in threes; they only come in twos.
Conleigh: Why?
Me: Because you only have two feet.
Conleigh (nodding her head calmly): Ohhhh....
Aren't you impressed with my mad parenting skills? It's all about the logic (and a lot of guessing!).
Me: Conleigh, go put your shoes on.
Conleigh: I want three.
Me (slightly puzzled): Only people with shoes on get to go outside.
Conleigh (a little more urgent): I want three.
Me (distracted, wondering if she means she can't find her shoes): Do you know where to look? They are right by the chair on the porch.
Conleigh (starting to escalate and now using her fingers): 1, 2, 3. I want three!
Me: Are you wanting three shoes? 3 pink shoes?
Conleigh: Uh huh.
Me: Well you only have two pink shoes. They don't make shoes in threes; they only come in twos.
Conleigh: Why?
Me: Because you only have two feet.
Conleigh (nodding her head calmly): Ohhhh....
Aren't you impressed with my mad parenting skills? It's all about the logic (and a lot of guessing!).
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