God and Me-Who I pray to

This week (actually last week but I'm a bit behind), I read a post on prayer that sparked some reflection on my own prayer life and prompted me to try something different.  My friend, Jake, has been writing about prewritten prayers and how as someone raised in an evangelical church, prewritten prayers are something that are not often used.  (Compared to a Catholic or Lutheran or other background where the liturgy is a standard part of the church experience.)  He has been sharing how he has used prewritten prayers in his own life and has been posting prewritten prayers once a week or so.

This week, the prayer he posted featured the words "We do know, however, to whom to pray!"  They were from a prewritten prayer written by Walter Brueggeman .  It reminded me of my own prayer struggles last fall when Conleigh's adoption was at a standstill.  I was struggling with praying the same prayers over and over and over.  I knew I needed to keep praying even though I didn't feel like it and even though I was frustrated by the monotony of my prayer life.  And I knew that even though I was frustrated, God and I were still okay (as okay as you ever get with the Almighty).  I knew He was still God and that even though things were not progressing the way I desired, that God was still at work.  I knew Who I was praying to even though I was unsure of the words I should be praying.

That sparked in me a real desire to focus on Who I was praying to this week.  I had several chances to be in the car by myself so I decided to use that time to meditate on that.  I purposefully listened to Christian music as I drove, paying close attention to any references in the songs that spoke of Who God was.  With two kids coming home in the last 18 months, quiet and stillness have been rare commodities.  The time I spent in the car those two days was such a blessing to me.  A still soul, sitting before the Lord and thinking on His character that naturally pours out of Who He is.  Ah, real quiet time with God that felt meaningful and uplifting.  Somthing that seems to often elude me.  Thanking God for those moments that leave me feeling that way...