Conleigh

I don't write very much about Conleigh because there's really not much to write. And right now, what there is to tell is just depressing and frustrating. We are still in IBE*R, the same office we have been in since September 08. A new director took over the office last year and has implemented some changes in how files will be dealt with. She is apparently not signing out files for people who are under 35 and have no biological children unless they have proof of infertility. She requested documentation of our infertility a few months back to which our processor clarified that we are not infertile, just pursuing adoption. That did not work so our processor decided to try to use our previous Haitian adoption as leverage in gaining our files release. That has not worked either and IBE*R is continuing to press for proof of infertility. I feel like we're caught in some awful game of Telephone, where people are continually repeating the same things over and over and no progress is being made. 10 months in one office is crazy. While I didn't expect this adoption to be painfree, I certainly didn't think we would have trouble in this office. For pity sake, this office previously approved us for adoption and has allowed us to take a child out of their country and into our home. It is illogical and unreasonable to not approve us now. But my thoughts on logic and reason have nothing to do with how government officials choose to process adoptions.

It has also been hard for me because with Kenson coming home, at times, it has felt like there is a big disconnect between us and Conleigh's adoption. We've been focused on other things, which truth be told, was part of our plan. "Let's alleviate the wait by overlapping it with Kenson's transition time," we thought. We also only get pictures occasionally so I think that makes the wait different as well. We haven't had any new pictures of Conleigh since May and I'm feeling due for something new.

And I've also felt like there has been a big disconnect between us and our support system. With Kenson's adoption, people were constantly asking about it, praying over it, investing in it. With Conleigh, not so much. I had someone at church say to me something along the lines of "We need to do better because now that Kenson is home, it's as if we've forgotten you still have a child waiting." Our small group, which really upholds us, has been out of reach as we've been off for the summer and then were not able to attend in the springtime because Kenson had just come home.

I guess I've just felt isolated in Conleigh's process. D and I don't talk about it as much as we did Kenson's, mostly because Kenson is home and life is busy. But lately, all of this has been catching up to me. I've been struggling with the lack of progress and feeling like I'm treading water in the ocean, all alone. I know I'm not, there are plenty of other families wishing their kiddos were home. And there are plenty of friends and family around me that are alongside of us. I think it's just hard to share when all you ever have to share is negative or a lack of progress. Hoping to reverse that trend soon...