Friday, June 7, 2013

Brokenness, Redemption, Anxiety and Joy

One of my bigs has been struggling the last few months.  One of my 6 year olds has suddenly morphed into a moody teenager who is often angry or sad, screaming or yelling, over the tiniest of things.  Because much of the last few months have seen D off coaching, I've been the one who has bore the burden for dealing with all of that.   The more I try to pull the child closer, saying with my words and actions "Your heart looks like it needs filled back up.", the more the child pulls away, the more the child tries to hide and retreat away.  And like many adoptive moms, I've found myself facing the giant elephant in the room question of "Is this normal kid stuff or is this somehow related to loss and trauma and grief?"

This morning, while reading through Lysa Terkeurst's devotional for Unglued, she shared a bit about her own struggle with anxiety, specifically related to the broken relationship she had with her father and the lifelong impact that wondering about her father's love had on her life.  It's a struggle many adopted kids can empathize with.  Even if it's not a day in and day out struggle, I think there are many adopted kids who would say at least once in their lives, they have wondered about their birth parents' love for them.  Lysa shared two truths that I will be praying for my child whose heart seems so wounded lately.  She reminded me that

brokenness is universal but so is God's redemption.  

Oh, I've known that truth!  But I needed to hear that again,, that in the moments where my child's brokenness (adoption related or not) seems to be dominating, God is still present, wanting to redeem those moments.  She also shared a verse from Psalms 94.

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."  (Psalms 94:19)  

It's a verse that is easy to pray and easy to share, a way to bring God's Word to light as both my kiddo and I deal with a heart that is anxious yet acting angry or hurt.

Hope for the moments, refreshing for the soul...

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