Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Month Home

Here's the general run down:

Conleigh is continuing to do well with allowing D and I to nurture her. She is doing much better at letting Mama in but if she is scared or overwhelmed, and we're both available, she still wants D. She is not doing great sleeping through the night. She is sleeping in her own room by herself and falls asleep with no problems. But she often wakes up in middle of the night still. She is getting better about not laying bed and crying but is coming into our room to crawl in bed with us. She is napping during the day but I wish she were sleeping better at night. She says a handful of English words/phrases including brush your teeth, look, come here, be back, wash your hands, shoes, socks, diaper, crackers, puppy, and good night. She has also started responding to our requests with "why". What newly adopted Haiti baby does that?????? (One with a three year old brother who uses that as his favorite word.) She can sing Old McDonald Had a Farm, Deep and Wide, and Fere Jacques. She likes Curious George on tv and loves the book, Puppy Please by Spike Lee. (It was one of Kenson's favorites when he first came home too.)

Her biggest struggle right now is with boundaries. She is still testing us at most every turn and deliberately does whatever we say no to. This behavior is one of those "push my button" behaviors with kids so I am having to really work at not overreacting to it. I have been really praying that she would come to have a heart that loves goodness and walks humbly with the Lord. (Micah 6:6-8) Last week, my heart was filled with hope as she picked up something she wasn't supposed to have, I told her no and gave her the "I mean business look", she looked back at me, and actually put it back. Usually, she continues in disobedience and it requires some type of physical intervention (ie removing her, removing the object, etc.). I've also really been praying for God to break down language barriers and teach her heart the meaning of "obedience" and "disobedience." I know that sounds silly but for me, having a child who understands those words makes it easier for me to discipline.

Kenson is struggling still. He is emotional and teary a lot. I really think he had just gotten to a point where he felt very confident in himself and Conleigh coming home has made him backtrack in confidence. He had grown so much in the last 3-4 months and I think he is now having to sort out his place once again. We are seeing lots of copying Conleigh as well as some feigned ignorance over simple things like getting a pull up at nap time. He is also asking us to do things for him, things that he knows how to do. So we're back to some babying and doing for him, even though he is capable of doing certain things already. He is also seeing Conleigh's disobedience and now trying some of that himself. He was/is a very compliant child so he's now experimenting with saying no and trying to push the limits. My prayer for him is that he would understand that he is fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who has known him from before he was born (Psalms 139), that he would understand how precious he is to the Lord and to us.

D and I are, well, looking like ducks. I feel like I probably look okay on the surface but my feet are spinning pretty fast underwater. We're still working on a routine and D just went back to work this Monday. Being home all the time can make me feel a bit claustrophobic and I have been fighting some anxiety over being home by myself. I also find myself going between feeling like I'm unsure of how to best parent my kids as they struggle with their emotions/behaviors and then feeling like I can do it. And since life isn't meant to be boring, I also decided to do some major rearranging in our house over the last few weeks. (Partially due to having to clean out our guest room so Conleigh had a bedroom and partially because I wanted to get our toy area moved to one location.) Soccer has also started so we're looking at longer days. Right now, practice is just until 5:30 but we will soon start having much later nights. As to what I pray for myself, um, I find myself having way too many verses that need my attention so I'll spare you and not post them.


Kathy C. said...

My twins have started U 5 soccer now.

I find that Jasmine's attitudes and obedience have declined since the twins came home and we've had her since birth--nine years now!

I had a lot of trouble dealing with the 8 hours alone with the twins, especially since they were so demanding and that's one of the reasons I opted for a readiness program at a Christian school three hours a morning. When they come home we make lunch altogether, have rest time and then it's almost time for Jasmine to come home and Jessica is already home on even days. I have two hours with them alone before preschool for us to eat and play.

rumomom said...

Just wanted you to know you are not alone. We added 3 boys, the twins turned 5 the day of the earthquake and their brother is 3. Most of the time I am petrified under the surface. Wondering how the heck God thought I could do this. Seeking out those who have experience. Beginning and ending my day with God PLEASE help me to help them heal! I am tired and scared but SO blessed. Praying for you guys!!!!

Sean's Ladies said...

I'll be praying for your heart and for wisdom. The transitions sometimes feel harder on our hearts, don't they? Totally normal to not know what will be the thing to help or inhibit them. But you are consistent, nurturing, routine and you follow through. Awesome!

Oh, and she KNOWS what you are saying. Disobey and obey are almost exactly the same in Kreyol.

Hang in there!

Sean's Ladies said...

I don't know you, but I'll be praying for you during nap time today.

My three came home in 2008. The first few months do feel overwhelming when you are helping many hearts transition at once. You guys have the added trauma of the EQ. It will take time. But it is the Lord that will heal their hearts, not us. 2 years later I have one with ptsd, one with AD and one settling in fine. You are never alone in this wonderful blog world.

hang in there!