Thursday, December 17, 2009

Still stuck like a duck in the muck

One duck stuck in the muck, for months and months now. (That's a children's book, in case you're wondering.) It's actually one child, stuck in the muck of government for way too many months but that doesn't wax poetic.

Conleigh's file hasn't moved anywhere. This month is month 15 in IB*SR. Just a quick recap for all who are interested...we were told originally we didn't qualify for presidential dispensation because that was only for families who had bio kids. So our file sat and sat and sat in IB*SR while our lawyer kept trying different things like giving the number assigned to our case for Kenson's adoption to prove we had been approved before or having us write a letter explaining that we weren't infertile but that we really wanted to adopt from Haiti. Then at some point in time that no one seems to be able to pinpoint, someone somewhere decided our file could be sent for Dispensation from the President. We were notified of this sometime at the end of October or so. With Dispensation taking anywhere from 2-8 months, we weren't really sure whether that was good or bad. (Another 8 months on top of the 13 we had already waited would mean 21 months in one office...for a couple who has previously been approved by that office!) So for the last month and a half, I've been trying to pinpoint when our file was sent, if there is any more information about Dispensation, etc.. Not because I really think I will probably gain any new information but just because I feel like I need to be a bit proactive and try to do some advocating for our file as best as I can. Well after not hearing anything but hearing through the grapevine that several stuck files from our orphanage had been released, I did hear from the director but she had no news other than, "I'm trying to get your file withdrawn from Dispensation as you meet all the requirements." I'm not sure what she means by "meet all the requirements because we are too young for the 1974 laws, but our file was in IB*SR way before the new director said she was going to start enforcing the old laws. So maybe that's what she means. And I certainly don't know what it would mean if they did withdraw our file from the stack waiting Dispensation. Would we be back to sitting on the desk at IB*SR, with a director who has already basically said that our file is not okay the way it is? Or is it worse to be sitting in the stack of documents awaiting Dispensation and have that take another 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, God only knows how many months? (And I am not kidding about the God only knows part because that's the truth.)

It is just generally depressing and frustrating and completely bewildering. I have had several people say to me, "Oh but just remember how long it felt with Kenson and how blessed you are now by him." That is true and he certainly is a blessing. (Tonight as I'm reading this newest bit of news from the orphanage director, I'm teary and sad so Kenson wants to know what's going on. So I told him I was missing Conleigh just like I missed him when he was in Haiti. Pretty soon, he comes in the kitchen with one square of toliet paper, hands it to me and says, "Mama, for your eyes.") But the people who say that don't realize how long this adoption could take. We are still at the beginning; we have a LONG way to go. I've been taking some solace in the fact we don't have to process things in Port because it seems like things that are processed in the different regions move much faster than things in Port. But still this is nuts. And just terribly sad for one little girl who has spent almost all of her 3 years of life in an orphanage. (And for this Mama who is tired of the whole mess.)


sheri wiebe said...

oh, how sweet about the toilet paper for the eyes...does he have an extra piece for me?


stephanie garcia said...

I am so, so sorry.

Kathy C. said...

It really stinks. I know. We are stuck because someone lost our paper. Never mind that it wasn't at all our fault or Kiki's fault. In fact, it appears we've gone backwards and are right where we were last December!! Fourth Christmas without them. I'm so glad you at least have K. home this Christmas. I guess it's cool that he gets to be an only child for a while. But they need to hurry up because he needs a sister by next Christmas!!!!!